first frost this year

before i woke up this morning MrL came running up the stairs telling my how icy everything was outside (at 5am ..yes that's the time he goes to work..ouch!). when i finally did get out of bed (8-ish) i leisurely got ready for the day and walked downstairs to see it all for myself, everything was covered in frost! it looked great - too bad i'm so lame at thinking in the morning - i didn't take any pictures. next time, i will.

yesterday was so different, and in a way, a virgin day of teaching! it felt so great to be in a classroom full of kids that were listening to me and learning. i love it. i'm genuinely upset that i don't get to do it every day. and in all my woe i listen to 'turning page' (Link!) which seems to be my all time favourite slow song ever. yes, i'm still fantasizing over the whole edward cullen/bella swan breaking dawn film. it wasn't the best part of the books (ie it was quite cheesy at times and very girly) but the music in the film totally caught my attention. loved it.

i also seem to have hit an all time low with my feelings and emotions. i'm not sure why. sometimes i think things could be better. sometimes i even think of going back home to poland and trying to save money. i guess that's what the whole problem is - money. i can't seem to get any here and i know if i moved back home again, it would be so easy.

in a way. i wish i had my own edward. someone who would unconditionally love me and be there for me always. maybe i'm being too mean, MrL is doing all that, but it's the emotional side that is a bit lacking. do men do that? it seems like he's 'grown out' of being passionate. a gentleman. a lover. and he's become more of a man. a primate. selfish...

we need to talk. (am i alone in this...?)

M
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