why

am
i
so
naive
?

wrong foot forward

please take me away from here
i linger in this state of utter helplessness, idleness

i'm waiting for my knight in shining in armour

i am

and i know he will come..
he will
and we will be flying high
above all the rainbows in the sky
complete we shall be
we'll even do tai chi
and a cat we shall possess
but its name i shan't confess
as our hearts grow fonder
with all our might we will squander
all that the wind doth blow
for i know
my beau will be my saviour
from this worlds malicious behaviour
that is eating me away
i shall not be led astray
by men's foolish wooing
i am proper in my doing
that is
this showbiz

hm. off the top of my head. i'm tired.
sleep[mode]:0N

चोट पहुँचाने

i linger here on my own and in my own little world of procrastination
i dont know how i managed to get back home from my beautician on friday - i looked like hell, and if you thought i already looked like crap then imagine me afterwards.. my face was glaring red, my forehead covered with red dots, my right eye was swollen from the masacre it had to go through with getting rid of my milia.. however, i spent the most wonderful two and a half hours on the most relaxing bed ever, i had the best facial ever and algae mask... bliss i'm telling you! i was pampered and i felt so good and i didnt give a damn howw i looked, i just slid my hat on pulled it nearly over my eyes and rushed home. even now my eye is still swollen and it looks ghastly.

i have so much work to do for this week. i only started writing my summaries last night and i still have two to go and then i have to write up my lesson plans for my teacher practice and i would like to start learning for my test that i have on wednesday with monsiuer swarmork..

i'm heartbroken. i want to love. and i want to make love! i feel so lonely and so useless..

मैं अब भी तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ गैरी

not much room to live

i had dreams that i would be a nurse when i grow up
funny how things change so fast
right now i dont know what i want to do with my life, who i want to become, who i want to be, with who, where and what for

and still i dont have enough room to live!
i think of so many things i would think i could do but i never end up doing them and i throw those thoughts away into to corner of the room, now that pile of reckless and unseemly ideas has turned into a mountain and is slowly blotting out the light. i get caught up in them, they lie at my feet and i get tangled every once and again. i sometimes wonder if i had chosen the right path, if this is the way i am to be traveling, did i make the right choices..?

it seems that happiness is just round the corner but i never turn round the right one.

maybe it will find me on another lonely street amidst the smell of summer just after the rain..

konfusion

i can't imagine all the people you know and all the places you go

do you know i miss you
do you know i miss you
do you know i miss you
do you know i miss you
do you know i miss you
do you know i miss you
do you know i miss you



i miss you

resuscitate

in my sleep
awake to see
you're never here


my stomach's growling.
good sign.
weight loss here i come.

full moon tonight.
just above my window frame.

how i miss talking to you.

tears

tears to my pillow.
all night long.

anniversary?!

it was totally me to miss my very own one year anniversary on blogger.
oh no! i didn't miss it...it's today!

HAPPY ONE YEAR my beloved little blog :)

er, i didnt make a cake but i did do two posts today ;)
as part of my celebration i'll go shopping in Katowice tomorrow. hopefully i will get myself something to tune myself into a good mood and while shopping i'll be happy, thinking how lovely it is to be single, being free from lies, around people who truly and dearly care about me, with two amazing parents who love me everyday, with the best friends i could have ever imaginesd, who alliviate my heartache, who treat me to the most heavenly cups of coffee/tea one could imagine, who chitchat with me about trivial as well as conspicuous affairs. i love you all and i am so proud to have you as my friends. i couldn't ask for anything more.

all my love guys x

trying to forget

it's not easy

i've gone back to giving my posts titles. i just wasn't fond of the simplicity and total lack of "chapter and verse". i felt as if my posts were bare, so i'm giving their coats back and hoping that they will be warmer than usual.

it's been a rough time for me, when some days i want to be left alone, expecting no one to give me solace. i needed to be in solitary, just me and my shadow.

but then again today, i was longing to be around people and that's exactly what i got. i had such a lovely coffee with the two most loving and lovable souls. i was so psyched and charged that i traipsed all the way home, stopping by my local drug store only to find that they didn't have what i wanted but that did not stop me from being so chirpy and i carried on singing along to the music coming from my headphones and making my way to my "crash pad" called home.

there's nothing more to say really, only that i thoroughly relished today. i absolutely adore course. i now have a deviation - i check every word fro its synonyms.. oh dear lord.. you can see i am truly spiritless.


wait..
not only am i spiritless but also extremely bummed out, aghast and insipid, exceptionally sluggish at everything i do. in fact, i yearn to hibernate for a couple of months.


oh oh, going back to course, i have a horrible secret.. videlicet: a week ago, i'm not sure if any of you will remember, but seńor Swarmork slipped on a brick coloured tight jumper. now, i know there's nothing special or phenomenal about a jumper, but it's HOW he wore it that made my heart skip a beat! guys, you probably think i'm bonkers, he's married and he's blond but that doesn't mean i can't fantasize and build castles in the air :D i cannot possibly mention how gorgeous his torso looked. his noticeably Herculean biceps. meow. the colour complimented his skin tone perfectly. his overall appearance was breathtaking, as well as his outrageously devine self that he is in character and posture. i'm all over him like a rash. seriously, there is something wrong with me. oh well :)

yeah, so that would wrap up my week.
i am "goodish".