i wanna sit down and cry

when i looked at my credit book.. the straight 3+'s that i have seemed like a joke. unbelievable how i've miserably failed this semester. nothing can make it up, these marks are simply repulsive. but one thing is for sure, it's not the grades that really matter but what i have learnt. still, i cannot see the silver-lining in it all. i feel like i've dragged myself down to the floor and that i'm so small. i'm hurt to see such grades yet i know that's all it is - just a grade. but how i detest such marks. ugh. such a horrid day. the stress concerning Coffee-gusher whether i had passed or not, my paper whether she would take it in or not, Tante Tyla and my first year exam that i have yet to take (tomorrow!), all these little things have started creeping up like my teacher practice syllabus that i have yet to hand in... ugh! i need to get myself together and MAKE IT WORK. and i frickin will! i need to charge my batteries cos they are kinda running on depletion. if thats even possible?! i wont let these grades get to me, no one will know unless they look into my credit book. well, you all know. but it's not that i'm afraid to tell you or afraid what you'll think, no, it's just my self-evaluation. how did i let this happen? i keep asking myself. never has my credit book seen such pathetic marks.i suppose two or three 5's are not bad but ugh..thank god it's nearly the end..