my parents and i took a trip to the cemeteries in świętochłowice, ligota and podlesie today. i remembered walking down the path with my watering can filled up to the brim, staring straight ahead of me and then it hit me - in thirty years time, it'll be me with my children coming to the graves of our loved ones who have deceased, i'll be going down the same path only older and with more memories and probably without my parents. that really saddened me.
it's a pity and a shame that time flies unrelentingly. sometimes i wish i could pause for a moment and never forget the great and happy parts of life.. i realised how much i depend on my parents, i live with them, we eat dinner every day together, we go shopping together, we go out to eat together, we talk we laugh and we cry.. and some day that'll all be gone. somehow, i don't want that to ever happen. i don't want the most important people in my life to leave. i know it's inevitable, that it will happen.. but it doesn't stop me from wanting to change the impossible. i'm still too young to be thinking things like that but my parents are growing old and i can see it. but frankly, there's nothing i can do, so i must draw happiness from what is today and now. i hope tomorrow will be a brighter day and i'll be in a better mood. as for now i'm very sensitive and thinking deeply about existence.. and how i wasted 4 years of my life on relationships which were never meant to be. pathetic.
on a different note, my cat was terribly ill today. throwing up everything all day. poor thing. he's sleeping like a log now but i feel for him so much, he was in so much pain today. unbelievable how attached we get to our four-legged pets.. he means so much to me and today everyone in our house showed how much he means to us. its magical seeing how we all treat him like another member of our family.
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