glee addict...

i absolutely loved this weeks glee...the songs were so damn good!! absolutely stunning renditions of some true classics, and the whole theme of 'prom' me like-y :) go watch if you haven't yet!

ok guys, i'm on twitter and have been for a ridiculous amount of time so get your butt on the move and get yourself over there (@omasia) start tweeting twitteristas!

also, tomorrow (or rather today) i'm going on a trip with my class and i have the nicest group to work with - so happy :) i really love the kids i'm working with - such a joy! i think i love this whole teaching job ;)

i can't sleep.
i slept too much in the afternoon.
ah well...

i love Lewis. just thought i'd say that out loud. ha. i wonder if he'll ever read this (even if it is in 10 years time...)

xoxo

saturday musings

i woke up and saw what a beautiful day it was, so i decided there was no way i was going to stay at home all day. i went out. to oxford street.

~ clinique superfine eyebrow pencil - check
~ h&m shoes and handbag - check
~ zara red shopper handbag - check
~ starbucks mocha frappucino - check!

what a day :)

xoxo

drunkenness on a friday night

never thought i'd get so drunk after school on 3 cocktails. jeez. horrible horrible stuff!! i had to go to bed when i got home to sober up! tragic.

did my planning today with my teacher breathing down my neck - so so stressful :/ but it's done. i have so much to do for next week! better start planning my sessions tomorrow!

boring-weekend-ahead alert.

xoxo

tired.

school is really tiring me out. i even napped today, straight after school from about 7-11. how awesome is that. now i'm awake and i can finish off my planning for tomorrow. worse thing is, i have to spend tomorrow morning planning the whole of next week which i've never done before and i will have my teacher breathing down my neck overlooking my planning skills. how stressful. not looking forward to it at all.

i will really try and get my session planning done this weekend so i can chill out a bit more during the week. i know it's such a crap way of spending my weekend, but i'd rather that than have to do all of it all week.

i can't wait to go up north for half-term.

letting off some bloody steam...

i guess being annoyed is what you get when you live in shared accommodation. i know i'd be a complete dunce if i started taking my bread and jam into my room. but leaving it out in the kitchen, on my shelf, obviously does not keep away other people's hands. to the point - i have no bread for tomorrow's lunch. someone has been helping themselves to my bread. i'm peed off. it's annoying that i now have to buy lunch tomorrow in a silly corner shop (which tastes naff) but what can you do apart from slamming the fridge door and whacking plates about and cursing under my nose. that's me - just not bloody bold enough to tell someone that i'm pissed off because they've taken my food. is it just me, or is it really normal for people who have known each other for a few months to just 'help themselves' to anything in the kitchen, even when they know i am a bit anal about my things. i don't like people thinking 'what's mine is yours'.

i guess i'll get over it by tomorrow evening.

i guess i'll just put up with it, seeing that i won't be here and won't have to deal with these things after mid-july.

it's just that i'm working so frigging hard, i have hardly any time to do much and i just like things to GO MY WAY.


am i overreacting? dramatizing the whole situation? i'm not sure anymore.



on a brighter note: i had a WONDERFUL day today! brilliant lessons (maths and science) got my marking done and planning all up to date (still!) i'm so impressed with myself - i'm doing ok with all this work. yes, it's time-consuming and i get tired, but i'm giving it my all. and it seems to be paying off!

tomorrow, however, i KNOW i will have a crappy PE session and prob an even worse literacy lesson (poetry.....with year 1. imagine that :/...)

fingers crossed i get through tomorrow.

and that i get over my food snatchers.

xoxo

sunday shopper

after working hard all day on saturday making resources for my maths sessions this week, i decided to treat myself today. what better way than with a bit of retail therapy!

i was intending on leaving at 11 to be at the shops for 12..well, knowing me, i made it for a disappointing 2pm.. and i headed to the MAC store on church street and i bought my first ever product - the studio finish concealer! yay! i haven't used it yet, however i did test it out in the store and it cover my blemish on my hand so i think i'll be pretty satisfied with this product, definitely happy that i got this. i then strolled over to h&m and exchanged a pair of shorts that i had bought a few weeks ago..i had to get a size 14 ;) now now, i haven't gotten 'bigger' i just prefer my shorts to be a bit looser on me. i also grabbed a lovely little beach dress (very see-through) which will come in handy when i go on my holiday to greece (a girl can dream, right?). lastly, i snatched up a cute little skirt that tpuches my knees (very important when working as a teacher) it's striped with yellow, red and blue horizontal stripes. so pretty!

i went to boots and nearly got Cliniques' All About Eyes cream. however, i changed my mind just in time! £21 seemed a little overpriced. instead i headed towards the skincare section and picked up the garnier tinted roll-on for under the eyes and a day eye cream (2 for £12 - bargain!) and no, i didn't get origins vitazing either.. i still have 3/4 left of my Clinique moisturiser, so i'm totally ok with that!

i have so much work for this week!!! never thought teaching was so stressful and time consuming :( but it's all worth it in the end. two more weeks till half-term, two more weeks till half-term....

xoxo

limbo much?

i definitely feel like i've been in limbo since easter really, spending all my time going over school stuff, mainly planning and making resources for the week..every day i come back tired and sleepy, but i have to plan plan plan and make resources all the time so my teaching is better than ever ;)

last week, i must admit, was pretty rough. it started on wednesday at noon straight after my supervising tutor from uni observed my maths lesson - i got so nauseous! i felt horrendous! twice during the rest of the afternoon i felt like i was going to barf all over. but, luckily, i didn't! i'm not sure if any of you are aware that something like this exists but i am terrified of getting sick (also known as emetophobia). this continued on thursday too.. i was shaking and feeling hot and dizzy, my stomach was killing me. i was starting to freak out somewhat. and i decided to not eat proper food just toast, totally cleanse my system. i felt great on friday, hardly any pain. today, i felt a bit weird in the morning but that may have been due to the lack of energy (i may have been feeling a bit hungry at this point). i had toast this morning (with jam, i couldn't resist!) and felt ok, so i had 2 slices of toast with jam for lunch and dinner ;)! i'm feeling good. hopefully, i'll start eating more normal foods tomorrow...and my stomach won't go mental on me again....

i'm going shopping tomorrow. i NEED a moisturiser, so i'm getting Origins Vitazing. i also need a concealer - so i'm going for MAC's Studio Finish concealer. and the last thing on my list is an eye cream - Clinique's All About Eyes is my choice. a splurge i know. my student pocket WILL feel this shopping spree. but these are things that i will NOT regret buying. and they will last me quite some time.

hope you're all good xoxo

p.s. i'm dying to get chanel matt lumiere foundation :( maybe someday.......

spoiling myself rotten

i had a file check today so i was at uni and not school (yay for another 3 day week!!) but it's so hard getting back into the swing of things (is working)., i;ve become so lazy with all this free time..ever since we went on easter break it feels like it's been constantly holidays. now it's all coming to an end..

after my (successful) file check, i had to take a ride to west brompton to get a prescription. i found out from the very kind and chatty receptionist that there are now squatters in the pub ;) how nice! i made my way to kensington and stopped over at a starbucks...and i had a rall mocha frappucino WITH cream! wow, it's so delicious! i'm terrible..i should really stay away from starbucks, i mean, i shouldn't even be drinking coffee. which is why, as of tomorrow, i will drink water instead of coffee. i will allow myself to have one coffee a day at school but other than that, i'm saying "NO" to coffee.

i spent just over £13 on two books that i can read to my kids at year 1. insane. i originally picked up three but when i got to the counter and the lady said £22..i literally told her "i'm sorry, i can't do that, i have to put one away..". i had also asked her if they do student discounts, to which i got a negative reply, so i HAD to let go of one book. it's so annoying. things are so expensive here and i'm not getting any money into my account! it would be nice to have a job. i miss having 'pay day'.

i should be sleeping by now as i have an early start tomorrow... but i'm not feeling so great. lewis would laugh and say 'when are you well?!' it's true, my health has been dramatically declining over the past year, ever time i've been to his, i've ALWAYS been ill. i was considering buying seven seas cod liver oil today - i absolutely HATE the stuff but i know it would be good for me...i just couldn't yet make myself get it.. i'm not ready! but i need to start doing something, i can't be constantly ill.. it's no fun, and the school won't find it fun either if i start being ill all the time, no school will like it... as of tomorrow, i need to start taking some sort of supplements. i need to get better, i need to be healthy.

hope everyone is well..
xoxo

loooooooooooong weekend...

as everyone on the planet knows, friday in the uk was a day off (thanks to will and kate! - thanking you!). what a wonderful day it was..i spent it watching the coverage on my laptop from 9am. everything was so beautiful. what a wonderful dress had on, i just loved it. absolutely stunning. will looked rather handsome too if i may say so myself! so i spent the day literally 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over kate and will's wedding. what a fairytale.

i want to be a princess too!!

i did manage to go shopping on friday too. i had to. unfortunately. i have no appropriate clothes for the school i'm at now, so called 'smart casual' but more on the smart side, so it's totally smart. so off to h&m i went. i'm lacking in the money department hence h&m and not zara or topshop :( on saturday i went to high street ken, to further my shopping experience at h&m. i wondered around the streets and reminisced about the past. helped myself to a starbucks mocha frappucino and made my way back home.

today i intended on going to westminster abbey and enjoy the evensong mass they had at 3pm but when i got there, the 2 mile long queue to get inside made me turn back and head for camden instead! i browsed the shops of camden trying to find some inspiration for a bday present (it's lewis' 27th on sat..) but to no avail. still trying to figure out what to get him. i wonder if i'll be able to go to his on saturday at all what with all the work i have for school...

tomorrow, again, it's a day off 'bank holiday monday' and i have no idea what to do with myself! i might head out to town again and go to a park and drink some pimms? no one seems to be willing to go with me which is a shame but i guess everyone else is busy. so i'll go on my own.

xoxo

absolute NOM.

what more can i say but ryan gosling.
ever since i saw him in the notebook i went mad and got hold of all the films he played in. and now i came across his new film: crazy stupid love. so without further ado..have a look at this!

absolute beauty. love it. love him! L has something about him that reminds me of ryan gosling - woop woop!! lucky me!

a treat!

yesterday i treated myself to my se1 school! it was so joyous going back to all the kiddies - they really did miss me! i had kids at my feet and pulling me in all directions to show me what they've been up to. it was so lovely to see them - i have missed them. two little girls even made me a card each ;) it's so nice to know that you mean something to kids. i even got asked by a little girl "can i be your bridesmaid"which made me smile - how thoughtful! :D i just love working with little people. i think reception is my fav class to teach and be around with. i shall go and visit them more often!

today i had a day off, however, i didn't do much only because i was stressed out with finding out that i will be ofsted'ed during se2..and i had to get my se1 file in by friday :/ i have to do so much to get it ready - i'd taken it apart really, for my essays and simply because i wasn't pleased with the last week i'd taught - oops....

later on in the day, well at midday, i decided that my room needs to be rearranged so that if i do ever have a leak again, it won't go on my bed. it took me hours to shift my furniture and at 3 i gave up - i just had too much furniture in my room and i couldn't turn my bed around to where i really wanted it. so i waited till my flatmate got back home and we lifted the couch up and out of the way :) and now my room is ready... (check later to see a pic of my room!)

that's all for now...uni all day tomorrow and friday..and then it's all over. no more uni, just school...how scary!!

xoxo

i've fallen into the oblivion of american series..

i watched 22 episodes of pretty little liars in 4 days.
i'm always on track with the new glee episodes.
i've always watched desperate housewives, brothers and sisters, gossip girl, family guy... i mean - do i REALLY need to watch all these programs?? no. but i'm bloody enjoying it!! haha.

i had a lovely weekend.. went out on sunday to leicester square and made my way to shaftesbury avenue and chinatown, where i had a scrumptious dinner! new world is a restaurant i will recommend to everyone who is in town. it was a bit weird, i must admit, sitting on my own and having dinner ON MY OWN with tables full of families and couples all around! it was fun though! ordered way too much for myself.. came out looking pregnant ;)

again, today i experienced a leak from the ceiling. i came back home for my lunch break aaand sat down on my bed and felt it was a 'bit' wet. i hit the phone and called my landlord who didn't reply till 9pm. he arranged the plumber to come round tomorrow and 'sort it out'. i'm so pissed off you have NO idea. i'm going to Citizen's Advice Bureau on wednesday so i might get some help with my room and my rights.

wish me luck!

xoxo

rags to riches

i'm really looking forward to finishing my course in july..i'm also getting a bit worried about having to move to MrL's...for good! no going back ;) no more return tickets to london...just his place and we've got to make it work!
i'm worried about it all..i'm scared of getting on his nerves too much and he'll get angry with me, you know what it's like when you're with someone but you can always 'go back to yours'..i will no longer have that option. i'm over the moon to think that i will be with L all the time and be with him whilst working and waiting for him with dinner ;) but i'm just a little worried (in the back of my mind) that we will find it hard to 'get used to each other'... but most of all, i'm so excited and joyous that i will BE with L. yay!!!

plus i'm worried about my job and whether i'll find one by september :/

on a happy note - i bought some shoes, et voila!

and this...

(it's just a headband ;))

got a LOVELY maxi dress from boohoo.com, unfortunately it's no longer available on the website so i can't get a pic on here but not to worry, i'm sure you'll see a pic of me IN it sooner rather than later!

i really would like to get carolina herrera 212 vip eau de parfum :) might get it...but still not sure...would also like prada original eau de parfum.... i'd love loads of perfumes to be honest!!

xoxo

waiting for easter to come

so i flew out to poland for the weekend and it was lovely!
i got to see my parents and spent time at home - i loved it.
now i'm back and my flattie is still ill and sowing his germs around the house, to which point i have managed to catch it. i went to uni in the morning but after coming back home for lunch i crawled into bed, wrapped myself in my blanket, lemsip in hand, aspirin on the go and tissues on roll. sneezing and coughing has commenced.

i've been trying to get my statement done for schools to go with my CV.. it's not so easy. it's taking me ages to come up with something that is good enough.

on the other hand, i'm totally loving the feeling of not having to write any essays! it feels so weird having so much time on my hands..i actually have time to be in bed and get better! wow...

hope you're all well
xoxo

so maybe that 'flooding' dream was a sign?

my mum was taken to hospital and she had her operation today and it's all fine. my mum is well and she'll be going home tomorrow!! i'm so so happy! and i cannot wait to see them on friday! so glad to hear everything's ok.

i've also rediscovered my old love for ivri lider (a most talented and handsome looking israeli singer-songwriter) it's a shame itunes doesn't have all of his songs :/

on a bad note: what is wrong with some sales-assistants?? i went up to a clinique counter and the stupid (16-18 year old) assistant just TOTALLY blanked me. she went round to the other side and was 'talking business' with an older sales-assistant. so i stood there STARING at them for a good 3 minutes, after which i got pissed off and moved on. a sales-assistant from the clarins counter saw me and the whole situation and she approached me (lovely lady- thank you) and asked me what i was looking for. i told her i wanted to ask about the eye-cream from clinique, to which seh responded that she could go and check for me (bless her - it's totally not her counter) and i just told her that it's the other woman's responsibility and if she can't be bothered that it's their problem.

some people just should not be sales-assistants, not when they have an 'i-can't-be-bothered-to=acknowledge-customers' kind of attitude. boo to you. i shall not be returning to that counter ever again. you're doing yourself such bad publicity and i'm sure there are many women like me who do the same - you just don't go back to places that treated you like crap. full stop. the end.

i've just purchased my ivri lider - off i go to full on sing-along mode :)!! (glad the flat's empty and no-one will hear my awful howling, i mean 'singing' ;))

xoxo

sleepless nights

so i've been having problems with sleeping..
i can't seem to fall asleep at a 'normal' hour.
i've been going to bed between eleven and midnight, and haven't fallen asleep till three, four-ish.
terrible.
and, i had a really weird dream last night about a flood that i kept clearing but it kept coming back..so i looked it up and came across definitions, such as:
"to dream about a gentle flood suggests that your concerns about a particular situation will soon be washed away"
could it really be about my mum? well..i'm not sure whether to believe it or not..? maybe..??

have so much work again this weekend for ICT..was sat at uni today till 7:30pm doing a powerpoint presentation about bees. fun fun fun. just maths tomorrow and the afternoon off so i'll be off to boots to get me some no7 stuff..

xoxo

happy days again :)

i'm coming home next weekend - absolutely thrilled to bits, it has however been triggered by my mother's illness.. she's due to have an operation this week if they have any free spaces. i want to be there for my dad and to make sure my mum's feeling better.

still a bit tied up with uni (ICT presentation for wednesday next week) and essay due in for the friday after that. but then that's my last essay ever (well, unless i fail sth then i'll have to resubmit ;) hopefully that won't happen)

so excited to go home. can't wait to see mum and dad.

xoxo

happiness

firstly, i'm SO happy for getting my maths essay (and all the 'little' bits that went with it) ids done and dusted - handed in and forgotten about! this now means that i now have only one more essay left to write - ICT...and it's for next friday, so soon, all these silly essays will be DONE.

secondly, i've been so motivated by alexis jordan and her song 'happiness' :) since the first time i heard it, it makes me hum along, dance and want to be happy (corny but true). the beat of the song is so invigorating and the general vibe i get from the song is - summer!

alas, i am about to state something that will be a complete contradiction to what my previous post was about - namely, i will be heading to primark (hangs head in shame) i know, i know..i said i would never shop there and i think people who do are silly..BUT i've been looking for a maxi dress since last summer and i cannot find one that is within my price range (i've seen some truly beautiful ones for astronomical prices going into the hundreds..) and one youtuber whom i happened to watch today bought a really pretty, very plain and straightforward maxi dress from the dreaded primarni. so, i will take a shot and go there tomorrow and see if this maxi dress is worth the eleven pound price tag ;)

white will be on my wish list.. very summery..

aside from my essay writing and mini shopping sprees.. i'm falling ill. just a little cold. but my nose is killing me, my body feels rather flimsy and i've been living on lemsip all day, don't have an appetite at all today. and it's all because of marcin and his bloody man-flu. ugh.

good night boys and girls xoxo

fake trash

just a thought that passed my mind while i was on the tube today, going to yet another very mini shopping spree ...

this watch is the fruit of my 'labour'.

anyway, back to the point of my post - fake trash. sometimes, i look at people, and i see fakery all over. fake, cheap and tacky. i know, that it's pricey to get good stuff..but once you do, you have decent, long-lasting things that look good. i used to buy stuff from primark, but i got fed up of having to throw everything away after having worn it once. useless. waste of money, even if it did cost £4. i live on a budget myself and believe you me, i know how hard it is, yet i always manage to get good things once in a while. it feels great to know that i've bought myself three tops that will last me the whole spring and possibly summer (if it's not too hot, which, living in england it won't be ;)).

i'm happy, happy that i'm not wasting my money. i look at some girls and think - that ring/skirt/top/shoes you're wearing will last you only a few weeks. i'll still be wearing my things come the end of summer - it feels good to know that!

all in all, it feels great to shop, doesn't it?

xoxo

back in london (and back to the shops did i go!!)

I had been SO so good in feb and i didn't buy anything for myself (apart from food obviously). sooo as soon as i got back to london, my desire to go to the shops grew stronger by the minute, and so, today, off i went.

i hit zara first - two tops bought, both white - perfect for spring!

then h&m - another white top, a bit like a jumper only with short sleeves

and that was it! enough to satisfy my minor shopping need - DONE.

i've been on a battle front with my landlord - i had a leaking ceiling before i left up north (beg. of feb) and he 'fixed it' and when i got back on sunday last week my bed was SOAKING. so i called him and he didn't answer my calls - he called me the following day at 4pm saying 'oh, that DOES sound urgent'. hm..he got a plumber in for wendesday - very urgent indeed. so i wrote to my landlord (Jaz) that i will not pay him rent for this month until he completely resolves this situation which has been going on for a month, let alone he promised to paint my walls etc - it ain't gonna happen. so he's not getting his rent until he fixes upstairs' bathroom and makes it watertight so i don't have to worry about being bruatlly woken up in the night with water dripping on my face!

ugh. hate.

i'm trying to get some maths done and write my essay for monday - it will be a challenge, possibly the biggest i've had here at uni. really unsure about it :/ 4 days left to write it - i should manage.

mummy's in hospital and i'm praying she gets better and goes home soon.. maybe tomorrow..? they're not sure what was wrong - they're still doing tests on her, poor thing. wish i was there to help, i feel so useless being here and not being able to give my dad a hand :(

apart from that, i guess things are ok.

wish i could go home to poland right now...

xoxo

school again tomorrow...

but no ordinary school - i'm going to nursery (3-4 year olds!! yikes!!) in stockton. yes, i got my placement up north and i'm staying with L. however, L is currently away and will be back on friday (oh my lord - i cannot WAIT, it's so weird being here without him)

so i start school tomorrow...with...babies really... :/ nursery scares me. maybe i will change my mind or gradually i will like the age range to teach, however, as of today, i'm kinda scared and not sure what to expect..will keep you posted.

been very good and gave back my aldo shoes *cries* i LOVED them :( over the knee boots i've never had.. should have bought a size bigger but who knew aldo was sporting such small sizes? boo. i got some black jeans from uniqlo though :) excited!

so it's february and you all know what special day is coming up :)? yes, that's right - Valentines day. now, i've never been the one to celebrate V day but with L things have certainly changed. i was reluctant to do ANYTHING for v day..i've just always had such crappy boyfriends that i saw no reason in 'spoiling' (or even 'treating' them) to anything! i was always the one running around, buying, buying buying and making things nice. and i guess no one ever bothered to really treat me during v day...so the whole romance was gone and never existed. so sad, but so very true. and now, i'm with someone who really wants me, a man who really loves me for who i am. HE treats ME. and boy am i one happy little girl. so this year, we are going out - to a lovely little pub in a beautiful village (which maybe, who knows, maybe one day, we'll end up living there..) where we'll enjoy a gorgeous meal. i even know what i'm getting L for v day - yes, i am getting him a present (or two!) i just can't believe i left my dress in london :( i want to cryyy!! ugh.

xoxo

on antibiotics

i've got an infection, hopefully i'll get rid of it soon enough, i'm on antibiotics so GO AWAY you stupid infection!!!!

i'm pretty much super duper excited about tomorrow - i'm leaaaavin' on a .. train. and i sure as heck know i'll be back again!

more purchases:
- aldo shoes (boots, over the knee type - need to try on size 7 for good measure tomorrow, so trip to covent garden again)
- clinique high impact mascara (my l'oreal million lashes is brilliant HOWEVER after being told by my science teacher that l'oreal workers have to wear special protective clothing when working with waterproof mascara from l'oreal, i've decided that i'm not going to get that crap again!)
- topshop tops (gorgeous scallop neck tops that are so summery - i love it!)

see...i've been good :)!

uni...hm...still two essays to go...haven't done too well with those ;)

can't wait till tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo

yay (part trois)?!

yes, can you believe it....!! another batch of great news - i passed my professional studies assignment - phew!! i'd blissfully forgotten all about it actually..and yesterday we were told that we'd get our results today.

i must admit, getting (or rather waiting) for the results are incredibly stressful - i just have absolutely no idea whether i passed or failed...there is just no knowing.. :/

but i'm glad i passed. very glad indeed.

now..because of this wonderful news, i was meant to go out and exchange my jacket from zara. however, it was so cold today that once i got home - i stayed in! there was noo way i was going to head back outside...it was freezing in my room so i hopped straight onto my bed and covered myself with my lovely blanket and switched on my laptop and wasted away the evening. nice.

tomorrow i'm heading off to zara ;) in the morning. i'm considering giving the jacket back and getting a refund? i'm not sure, i'll see how the change of size goes. will pop in to a shoe maker and get my shoes re-heeled - i keep slipping, they are so bloody dangerous! and i'll head off to cambridge at 3pm. do not fear - i will be back sunday morning (after a bit of /window/ shopping at westfield ;))

have a lovely weekend all
xoxo

YAY (part deux)

so i retook my ICT skills test today and.... i passed!! hurrah!! so that's two down, one to go (the worst lies ahead of me though - maths...)

earlier this morning, i received a text from zara saying that my package is ready to be collected from the shop in covent garden (just a two minute walk from holborn - where the test centre was) so i happily went and got it.

i came home and unpacked it and...i'm not entirely happy with it :/ it's like it's a bit too small on me...i'm planning on going to zara tomorrow and changing it for a bigger size (L!!) or giving it back all together ;/

got a 'bright' top from h&m (a very orange, rusty, earthy colour) in size 14 so it's rather slouchy :D but nice. i like. it's the only really colourful item of clothing i have...wow. shall be flaunting it tomorrow at uni.

cannot wait till april when i will be (hopefully, fingers crossed) in poland! just waiting for confirmation from L's work to accept his holiday form. it's been too long since i was home.

i need to get on with my essays this weekend. i have planned to go to cambridge to see anna sing in her choir - they are giving a show in a church, should be impressive :) i will be back on sunday and next week i have the whole of wednesday off so i can catch up on some essay writing..i have two essays due in for 25th feb while i'm out of london so i'm going to try to write and hand them in on the friday..! yay...

i miss L and i've been totally deserted by 'friends' but for ania.
so, to whoever is reading this, thanks for stopping by and reading

xoxo

literacy skills test - PASS

woot woot! i passed my literacy skills test...only ICT and maths to go... thursday i have ICT and maths - hm...maybe in march? i'm so not prepared for it...

however..

because i succeeded in my test, i treated myself to a bit of oxford street lavishness... yes, i went to new look and got a pair of tights ;) haha.

(i do have a jacket, jeans and a scarf making its way to me via the wonderful post :p)

oops - naughty me! i said i wouldn't go shopping, but i just couldn't resist after such nice news!! i must admit i will be spending more on a bag that i've cast my eyes on in aldo..... maybe thursday when i pass my ICT :D?#

xoxo

another week over..

the weekend whizzed past like speedy gonzales.
more work done, but still a lot lies ahead..

i have my ict skills test tomorrow at 17:15 so fingers crossed!

on a brighter note - i purchased a lovely (faux) leather jacket from zara- i promise this is my last purchase from zara for a long long time!! :)

another week of uni ahead.. hopefully i'll get more work done during the week..

i cannot contain myself, i really cannot wait for february and my additional school experience! all the way up in stockton - yay!

L and I have also come to the conclusion that we will go to PL twice this year - april (for easter) and december (for chrimbo). i 'might' go in august too for a few days as it's my gran's 90th(!!) wow, i'm glad we've finally settled on some dates :D i can't wait! i miss home.

xoxo

a tad bit beauty obsessed at the mo...

it may not be so obvious to you all (particularly through this blog) that i am LOVING a multitude of beauty products and also a new obsession of mine are clothes and handbags..

i don't like to talk about it at al, as this blog is supposed to be about 'my life' and what is going on. however, recently i haven't been blogging AT ALL. oops.

i'm a student. i don't have a lot of money and i have been complaining that i don't have money to get a ticket to poland etc.. and so i feel really bad every time i get myself a new top/blouse/trousers/bag/cosmetics/bag/jewelery... :(

but i must admit, recently i've been obsessed.

i've been buying way too many clothes, my wardrobe is slightly overflowing! that's never happened before.
now, i did make a promise to myself that this year i will buy only good quality clothes (i.e. no more primark, no more tacky clothes that fall apart after being worn once). so i'v been buying waaay too much in the zara/topshop sale (and not-so-sale!) tragedy. luckily, i've come to a stop - i have satisfied my clothes shopping desire (hopefully!)

i've bought so many cosmetics - especially from clinique, bare minerals, urban decay (i've yet to get mac and nars ;)) and i've also gotten into painting my nails (something completely new to me). i've been going mad!! barry m, essie, gosh, rimmel, sally hansen (for strengthening), maybelline.. i'm all onto you!

anyway - enough of this babble.

life at uni is stressful. a lot of work to do, many essays to research and write.
february will be spent up north with L and at school doing my additional experience in nursery and year 1. should be fun. especially that L will be away for 2 weeks while i'm there :/

susan (my flattie) has got herself a leading role in an irish series (anf will be on tv in ireland) SOOO so happy for her :)

trying to sort out my holidays to poland - decision: should i go for easter and chrimbo OR summer hols and chrimbo?? need to check out tickets too..that's the worst part.

that's all folks! hope you're all well...
xoxo

another year over...

and what a year it has been...

jan - was in poland for dad's 70th
feb - had a lovely valentine's day for the first time in my life
march - bunked off school to go with L to his 'work do'
april - erm, nothing?
may - bday present in use at the track, which resulted in L's car to break down
june - last month of being an LSA
july/august - at L's, the best time ever
sept - started uni
oct - busy at uni
nov - amazing bday with L up north
dec - another wonderful chrimbo with the Holding's and an ever better new years in the cottage

all done and gone..it's amazing how fast a year flies now.. when i was younger, time used to go so slowly..things have certainly sped up since then!

2011.. i wonder what you will bring me..
hopefully i will successfully finish this pgce course

i have made some new years resolutions:
- buy clothes only at zara/topshop
- stop buying crappy stuff that is not quality
- same goes for makeup and skincare products
- keep on top of things (ie don't leave it till the last minute)

how are you all doing in this new year? any resolutions/plans? hope you're all well!

muchos love xxx

a *bit* behind...

well, centuries ago..

i moved house. i moved into a fresh new flat with two brand new housemates. they are fantastic. i could not have got better flatmates. it's great.

my room is not-so-great. i've tried to make it 'my own' by buying a few bits and bobs to make it look 'homely'. have i succeeded? you'd have to see it to judge yourself.

my first placement is abruptly coming to an end!! shock! it seems like it was just a few days ago that i started! what joy these last 5 weeks have been with my reception children (4-5 year olds) they have been such sweeties to teach. my teacher has been great although she hasn't made it easy for me, neither has she given me enough carpet time experience but i have thoroughly enjoyed every second of this placement! it's been a pleasure and i don't really want to go... i wish i could come back to reception in march/june.. yet i know that won't happen - i have to go to year1/year2.

i have managed to get my ASE in feb up in stockton - SCORE! a whole month with my man - how exciting :D

i cannot wait till friday...i will finally see Mr L. it has been much too long.. and christmas is nigh - wow, where has the time gone?! i still need to buy a few presents..

i wish i could go home for christmas... it would have been so lovely especially that anna is going and it's at my brother's so the whole family would have been together.. i will miss them all this year..i really was hoping that i would go this year... :( i miss my family.

roll on last week of school and my last observation and then friday...!!

xoxo

cheer up, everything will be ok...

i hate being stressed.
i hate writing essays.
i hate not having options.

this is the beauty of london - rely only on yourself, friends say they will 'help' but they never really do.

super stressed.
worried about everything.

'don't let yourself get pushed around'

i just want to do this damn course - why do i always have to have huge obstacles along the way?

argh!

i KNEW i'd forgotten something - my borrowed maths cd from the bloody library! and L's away till friday so i'll have a huge fine to pay!! grrr.

as for london, well, it greeted me with drizzle, slippery surfaces and a miserable empty room. that's a typical hello from london.

last week of proper uni and then 6 weeks of SE1! *cries* am i ready?!

not to mention i still need to write one whole essay...and finish off my other one, all for friday..

oh, and of course look for a new room.

THIS WEEK IS GOING TO BE SOOO MUCH FUN. not.

early birthday

friday night came upon us, and i thought our plans hadn't changed - go to L's uncle in osmotherly. L came home and announced that maybe we should go out for a meal and just hang out and have an early bday (seeing that we won't be together till xmas)..it sounded good to me! luckily, i thought ahead and i had done my hair up in lovely curls (which, no doubt, fell apart as the night lingered) put on my lil black dress and even changed my mahoo-sive h&m everyday bag, for my little black clutch :) how good am i?!

we set off at 6 pm.
my looooooord did we venture out into the wilderness and darkness of the night!

L drove us around and far out. we were driving through the prettiest towns, looking for a good restaurant - one that would be good enough for such a pompous occasion ;) by the time it got to 7pm i was feeling a little bit hungry. i was beginning to get onto L's back for taking me out for such a long drive and thinking he was doing it on purpose, driving for so long just to make me more hungry. but then, i kinda got a tiny bit suspicious when we drove past 'the dog' a second time.. now, L has a tendency to be very picky and will not stop or turn around, he will keep going till he gets to where he wants. so yes, we'd done a HUGE loop. i was laughing it off and listening to L's excuses.

and then we drove up to a lovely drive..and a few seconds later - there it was - a beautiful hall that looked like a small castle from the outside. i was in awe but knew this was going to be an expensive night.

the time of arrival was 7:45pm.
we went up to the restaurant area and were told that there are no available tables till 9:30pm. so we waited :)

a murphy's and a baileys later, we were in! our meals were served up really quickly and were delicious. i had some more baileys and, having drank so much on an empty stomach, was feeling pretty dizzy. it was home time by 10:30pm.

L was told by the receptionist that the quickest way to the car park was by going up to the second floor and going straight down the corridor and we'll get to a set of doors that lead to the outside. so off we went. and we walked down the corridors and i was searching for doors leading out when lo and behold, we were unfortunately approaching just some more hotel rooms..and then L said that he got a card from the reception .. and swiped it on the door and it opened... no, not to the car park ;) but to our very own room! i couldn't stop laughing at my gullibility and the fact that i had such a wonderful man do this for me.

in the room we were greeted by a glorious bottle of champagne and chocolates and a rather inviting humongous super-duper king sized bed!

i had such a wonderful birthday!

we had a late check out so we got home past 2pm.

oh, and L baked the most scrumptious bread in the afternoon, much inspired by antonio carluccio who was on saturday kitchen (yes, we watched it in bed this morning at the hotel, *snicker*) it was marvelous! with pancietta and cheese, yum!! could eat it every single day!

i love being home. with L.
i will miss him.
back to london tomorrow.
back to reality.
back to my room hunting and essays..

joy.

xoxo

p.s. wake me up when School Experience 1 ends...

not an easy life...

i'm 'enjoying' my half term week (which is actually a study week - i have two essays to hand in for next friday..) and i had an absolute BOMBshell thrown at me on monday...

i got a TEXT from my 'flattie' saying that the flat has been sold and we have to move out by 14th november. so the contract that i signed was a load of shit and i'm now looking for a place to stay..i spent monday and tuesday looking for rooms...with not much luck, so i'm trying to keep a clear mind and focus on my essays...i've done nearly all my literature one but i still have my maths to do which isn't easy :/

i just can't believe how fate has criss-crossed its paths with my luck..and turning it into BAD luck. instead of having time to focus on my essays i've had to waste time arguing with my 'flattie' i'm furious. i'm fuming. i'm beginning to hate london and all these false people that live in it. they only do things for their own profit, their own good.. i hate it. i'm beginning to see more and more of this behaviour in londoners, it's frightening.

i want to live here, up in the north. more than never have i felt this strongly to be here. not only because i miss L, but because of the life that one has here, it's so much calmer and peaceful. always something to do, always somewhere to go, someone to see, someone to cook for, someone to talk to..

so, as i try to write my eassay, and look for a place to live, i'm trying to actually really enjoy my last 3 days here with L. carving my pumpkin tonight! and tomorrow out to osmotherly and saturday we're celebrating my early birthday (we won't be able to be together for it so we thought we'd celebrate now) in fact i won't be seeing L till 17th december :( boohoo...

happy days to you all and fingers crossed for my essays and room-hunting...
xoxo

not feeling so well..

i was having a brilliant day, i was so happy the week was coming to an end.. especially after being so frustrated what with the whole placement mess up by uni.. and after uni today, i was meant to go out and have a drink with my old work mates from school.. but my belly made up its mind to have a go at me today and so i stayed at home. i watched the whole of gossip girl with a cuppa tea in hand and under my duvet. such good times, eh?

i bought my ticket for stockton - so excited. but won't get to see L till saturday as he's working nights during the week and my train gets into town at 9pm.

got lots of work this weekend, have to start on my english essay, would like to get it done and out of the way so i can concentrate on my maths essay (which i can;t get my head round :/) i just can;t wait to be with L and his family. we've also decided that we;ll celebrate my bday next week as we won't see each other in november.. in fact, i won't see L till december 20th.. this is such a dreadful year when it comes to how often we get to see each other.. but hopefully, it'll all be worth it.

hope you're all good xoxo

you know you love me...xoxo

i've found my website - one that shows gossip girl YAY!! sooo happy now, just watched 3 episodes of season 3 - sooo need to catch up, season 4 is already out here..only 19 more to go..

i got really soppy today, i miss L so much and i had to voice it to him. it's hard, so hard because there's nothing really that we can do.. :( one more week and i'll see him for a week, and then i'm back here for 7 weeks and then i'll see him for two weeks during xmas.. i can't believe we have to be apart for so long. i officially hate it.

on another note..i'm not doing too well financially. i'm trying to manage and i think i will but it's not easy..i need to get my maintenance grant or else i'm screwed. not looking good. i hate being a student. in london.

hope you're all well
xoxo

effects of alcohol can be terrible

in my case, it puts me to sleep, i slept most of the evening (from about 6 till 9) and now it's 4 and i'm going to bed with the hope of getting up at 9... drinking messed up my sleep cycle :(!! children - don't drink! unless you've nothing to do the next day...

xoxo

in love with

nigella lawson and her new show 'kitchen'
she really is one super sexy woman. who can cook!

she's got so many inspirational recipes it's amazing :) makes me want to cook.

if you haven't already - go have a look at my other blog www.mariatodayisaw.blogspot.com and you can see a snippet of what i see everyday ;)

this weekend looks like i'll be drenched and showered under by books, journals and more literature - so much work to do for my essays!! blaaaaaaaaaaa.

wish i could go shopping, or even more - wish i could go to the hairdressers. i've finally found my salon, my picture perfect salon (www.hobsalons.com) in camden (so close to home!) i wish to have a lovely fringe...a side swept one, for now :) ... i'll dream on then, shall i? heh.

sleep time now, hope everyone is good xoxo

surprise visit

Mr L called me on Sunday morning announcing that he'd come back from his training - YAY!! and he also said he was coming down to see me - double YAY :D

ok, so it would've been a wonderful two days - if it wasn't for his car. he broke down just a few roads down from me, so we had to get call for recovery which took hours to come, we later headed for a well deserved pizza and went to bed. next morning L got up bright and early and made so many phone calls to mechanics that would fix his car. he ended up spending a gigantic sum of money but luckily they did his car up by the end of the day! if it wasn;t for the tube strike it would've been easy to get to... we were late 10 mins.. but the man was kind enough to wait for us! how lucky were we!?

and so my man left this morning at 7am and managed to make it to the barracks on time.

i've now got a fridge full of healthy food, i had an amazing lunch (sponsored by L) and and empty bed :(

plus, a surplus of work to do for uni...

xoxo

lack of afflatus

i sit here and ponder on what i should write..

there have been a few things on my mind today, nothing that is vitally important to put out into the world, but i'll do it anyway..

1. i bought a "shelving unit" from ARGOS - note to self - never do that (or buy any other item from there) again.

2. i'm going to IKEA tomorrow with my flatmate to get me a proper shelving unit. it'll take us a min of 1hr to get there but it will be worth it..right?

3. Anna will be staying over for 5 nights starting tomorrow - i need to clean my room!! pronto!

4. i despise this rain that has befallen upon london - make it go away.

5. if i could change my whole wardrobe - I WOULD.

6. i wish the weekends were longer - i hardly ever get to do half the stuff i want to.

7. there's something wrong with the ventilation in my room - EVERY morning i wake up and the windows from the inside are covered with water droplets (i'm assuming this is condensation) meaning that there's too much water in the air.. make it go away! it's so annoying and my clothes never dry :/

8. i've started a new blog.. it's called "Today i saw..." :)

9. i need to watch my expenses - i'm running out of money (fast..)...

10. i need to find a website that streams gossip girl - man am i missing that show!! i have to catch up on all of season 3...!!

i thought i'd limit myself to 10, once i start listing i add and add and add ;) uni is getting quite scary - i mean, the prospect of being in school in a month is terrifying!! it's s different to what i was taught to do in PL.. wish me luck from 8th nov..

xoxo

i don't understand...

how (heavily) pregnant women smoke. i just don't get it...is carrying a child inside of you not a good enough reason to STOP smoking? not doing just for yourself but for the health of your unborn baby? it appalls me this selfishness and stupidity of some women. shame on you!

my week's flown by (yet again).. i have no idea where all this time is passing by?! i'm so busy with uni i tend to go to bed between 1 and 2am..i'm shattered. so tonight, i'm hopping into bed straight after this! the earliest i've ever been since i left L's!!

talking of Mr L.. i keep wondering where he is, what he's doing, if he's happy, if he's tired, if he misses me...
i can't wait till he gets back.
i also guess this is some kind of 'taster' for what it will be like when he leaves for Afghan.. which i am actually dreading. look at me now - i'm lucky he's gone for only a week..what will i do when he'll be gone for 6 months? i don't even want to think about it...

i want to go to poland. i miss my parents and my friends. i wish i could have had more time i went during the summer to see you... :(

xoxo

eat. pray. love.

yes, maria went to the cinema today.. how could i resist? two for one. you know me, always the opportunist (especially of it means getting away from vapid work for uni!) only if it is for and hour or two, it helps me clear my mind and refocus on life in general.

i saw a chick-flick, there's no other way of describing this film. even though it may not have been a really life changing film, it made me think about how i perceive myself and my life..i've never had a period in my lifetime when i 'got in touch with myself'. i'd (similarly to the main character) always been either breaking up or getting with someone, i'd never had that stage when you'd try and be happy with yourself.. i think i've missed that part out because it makes me feel uncomfortable. i'm marvelously happy in the relationship that i am now, although recently, well, a few days ago, we went through a heartbreakingly serious rough patch, that made me think how much do i love myself? do i love myself enough to love someone else? do you know what i mean?? i am so content with Mr L but i truly believe and think (and know) he needs more, and i'm not able to give it to him because i don't fully love me. i need to reach the level of loving me to be absolutely devoted to someone else. i will use my time wisely and i have devised a plan, an 'action plan' that from this day forward, i will start loving myself, my body and everything related to my being.

wow, all that from 'just a film'..it's great to go to the cinema from time to time - reflection is good :) i hope you are all happy with yourselves so that you can be the happiest with your loved ones.

xoxo

yesterday...

I write to you from my room.. YES, but no internet – I’m just writing this in word and posting it up on my blog. Oh, the good ol’ days of not having the internet – I HATE IT. Can’t wait till Tuesday!! Virgin internet here I wait…

So I’ve done a week of induction at uni (which was fab) if only it lasted forever…hey ho, I’ve also managed to survive a whole week of ‘proper’ uni – soooo much work. So much stuff to do, so many things to print, so much information to take in, so many essays to write, so many hours of researching to do, so many trips to the library to be done, so many subjects to acquire, so many notes to be taken down, so many presentations to be done, so many books to read, so little sleep – welcome to PGCE course. I have a hate/love relationship with it. I love it because I’ve met such wonderful people here; I look forward to my school experience and getting my QTS. But, I hate it because there’s so much work to do.. information overload every single day. We get tons of essays and projects to do..i’m kind of (not) looking forward to it..? I have mixed feelings about it all. I’m so glad to be on this course though. At times it will be fun but the majority of the time it’s work work work.

I’m living with a really nice girl in her flat. I have the whole bedroom to myself :) it’s a bit on the empty side, but soon enough, I shall make it my own! I just need to get a desk lamp, chest of drawers/storage cabinet and get some more pictures on the wall and it will be fab. The location is brilliant – 15mins walk to uni, not bad for London, the price is affordable (def for London) and my flatmate is really cool. We even went to the British museum on Saturday and had a blast in the Egyptian section! I’m so happy to be here, but I think, next year it’ll be time to go up north and start living there with Mr L :)

The weather here has been absolutely horrible the past few days – windy and rainy. Your typical English weather – what more could you ask for? I’ve had to buy myself boots (where else but from ‘new look’ they have 20% student’s discount – woohoo!) I’ve bought some lovely nail polish too – by BarryM the colour is called ‘mushroom’ and is a lovely shade of brown.. def a wonderful autumn nail colour. I’m pondering on getting h&m ‘oversized boyfriend shirts’. I adore the look of them, I even tried some on and was ferociously tempted to get them but I thought I’d wait a day or two to see if I still liked them as much as I did first time round.. we’ll see how it goes ;) besides I don’t want to be spending too much money seeing that I don’t really have any :/

Hope you’re all doing well, I can’t wait to have my internet and I’ll FINALLY be able to write every day :D
xoxo

sitting back and waiting

i viewed a room today, not far from uni, and i told the girl 'I WANT IT!!'..so it looks as if i might have just found my room!! thing is she still has a few people in for viewings today :/ so i have to wait and see...as per usual..

please please please..let me seal the deal.

i've had enough of people being so uncertain and flimsy in their decision-making.

I WANT THIS ROOM!

'the time traveller's wife'

on a more (what would seem) a happier note, i finished reading my ever-so-wonderful book! i couldn't put it down, it was one of those books that you just keeping reading and reading until, all of a sudden.. you've finished it!

what a brilliantly written book, the plot is immense and utterly gripping, the whole story is so tricky, so intricate and so full of love and passion..it seems like one of those things that you'd love to happen to yourself! i was captivated from the very start. i hadn't seen the film and my sister had bought the book for me as a present (thank you!). the ending is swift yet painful, truly gripping and heart-breakingly tragic with a hint of optimism. words cannot explain how this book made me feel. and yes, i did shed a tear or two or maybe even over a dozen when i got to the final pages.

what a wonderful read. i love literature that is so pure and emotionally thrilling.

give me strength

it's been nearly a week and i've been sat in front of a computer screen for nearly all that time, searching, looking, ringing and hoping.

to no avail.

i'm still stuck. still room-less. still stressed. still wanting to have my own bit of space, yet no one is willing to give me a firm 'YES'. it's hard and i let it get to me today. i melted but L managed to scrape me off the floor offering me some over-the-phone love and advice. scrambling to my feet i approach the computer once again and search, look, ring and hope.

the vicious circle seems to have no end.

on your marks, get set....

and tomorrow it's 'GO'!
i've managed to pack all my paper work that i might possibly need for Uni in London. It's terribly hard packing all the essentials..i've been here for some time now and I really don't want to go. I've been putting off packing for quite a while, and now that it's finally dawning upon me that I really do have to go, I'm uneasy, unwilling and utterly slow at getting my things ready. Plus I'm limited as to what and how much I can take as I'll be taking a train down to London.

The garden is looking so pretty now, we've managed to get our garden set out onto the decking. Next summer we're planning on getting the barbecue done and have friends and family come over for a barbi!

We've also got our dining table and chairs in the house too, and we're ever so thrilled about it! It's wonderful and suits us so much! I'll be so sad to have to go to a room in London and not have the comfort of my own living room, kitchen and lounge area with a tv :( oh, how I wish I could stay..

But, this PGCE has to be done and it's better to get it done now rather than a few years down the line. I'd rather spend this year living off beans on toast than doing nothing with my career. I can't wait to get this qualification done!

Finally, I have bought myself a laptop so I will constantly be online ;) no more excuses that I don't have a computer or the internet.

Welcome to a new chapter in my life..one that you are all invited to!!

xoxo

decision decisions...

i never thought having to buy a sofa could be so dramatically complex! we've had our eyes set on a lovely brown leather set for ages..then we went down the road of 'convenient/practical/affordable and ended up looking at corner sofas. now, we (the not-so-average-typical couple) cannot and will not set for cheap and tacky, oh no! we've travelled a gazzilion times to and fro to barker and stonehouse (a blissfully wonderful furniture shop for anyone who is looking for new room-ware ;) we cannot decide whether we should go for comfort and affordability or stretch ourselves 'a little' and go for luxury leather/fabric wing style last-you-a-million-years sofa..

dilemmas, dilemmas..

we have, however, purchased an amazing dining set! woop woop! and, to my utter amusement, the suite is called 'Poland'. lol. can't wait for it to get here!

on a completely opposite note - i've been in love with listening to ellie goulding, i'm ever so tempted to go and buy it at hmv..it would constantly play in the car that's for sure!

hope you're all having a brilliant summer
xoxo

school's almost over!

and it was time for my last ever shift at the tourny this weekend..i did not shed a tear, i did not even celebrate, i was happy it was all over..it was about bloody time!!

what with school finishing next week, i've been having to start thinking of packing up my room, ready to move to L's place. just for a month though! so excited i cannot wait to be around my man everyday without fail and have him all to my disposition every weekend!! woop woop!

xoxo

i went to church today

i had a bit of a bad week last week and i needed some 'alone time' with my maker. hopefully the next few weeks will pass without any major side effects of the previous week.

i have therefore been indulging in a LOT of retail therapy.. so many buys from topshop, h&m, zara and uniqlo. love those shops!

got myself tickets to go north again to see my man as he's soon back from denmark! woop! and my parents will be here in london next weekend - so excited!

can't believe school is nearly over.. just a month left and that's it... uni in september - lol.

hope everyone is well
xoxo

miss invigilator

i did my fair share of homework club and today i topped it up by doing my fair share of exam watching! my days at sen are beginning to look worrying. i hardly go into lessons now..just sit and look at 6th formers writing their a-level exams..i am wasting away..am i not?
i even thought that i'd be better off as a live-out nanny here in london! or even a efl teacher in a language school...which i always thought would be my last resort if i didnt get any other job here...i think that maybe i had jumped in too fast to sen? maybe this wasn't what i was supposed to do because i feel like i've totally wasted a year of my life. but had i not gotten into sen, i wouldn't have probably gotten into uni...so it's always 'cos za cos'.
i'm still suffering the fact that i get paid the least at school and i feel like telling everyone to bugger off, stay and do homework club because that's what you're getting paid for! i'm not!!

well, no need to get into a rut right now as i'm heading off to the pub for a few drinks, then come back, pack my knickers and go up north bright and early before the sun comes out to play tomorrow!

looks like it's going to be one hot weekend :) so excited! good luck to all the ladies doing race for life tomorrow.. let the wind carry you to the finish line!

xoxo

long night in hollywood

so, i was on the train to king's cross today after work, and i happened to notice a tall woman standing in front of me (i had a seat). now, there wouldn't be anything weird in seeing a woman... but a woman wearing skinny jeans and being still to skinny for them to be tight?! what on earth do people see in such tiny figures? i don't get it. ok, i understand the overall trend with being healthy and looking slim, hell, i once starved myself to get to a wonderfully light weight (yes, it felt great once i got there!) but it looks awfully horrid when you see someone that is too tiny even for skinny jeans... yikes! it made me cringe and it made me feel disgust even.

i finally have a night off from the pub! i cant believe moirae no longer works here..good for her! it's dreadfully quiet and it gets so boring. besides, everyone moans at adam and matt so it's nothing new.

school on the other hand has been a bit lousy too :/ just 5 more days and it's half term!

this weekend will probably be a blast! going to croft circuit watch Monsieur L having fun in his poor lil car. pics will be posted next week i should expect. the weather is meant to be great so fingers crossed we'll have a gay ol' time ;)

where on earth has the sun gone?! or maybe carrie could you please stop hugging it in OZ!! give us some sun here in europe!!

<3 xoxo

sexy bitch

the D.R.A.M.A. in this pub is epic.

1. Mo-Dizzle is leaving (gah!!),

2. Claire is crying her eyes out because she takes too long to get ready and everyone yells at her,

3. Jane - our gansta homie is feeling ill yet still going out, wrecking her liver some more ;)

4. Matty is being a complete woman, pms-ing day in day out, shaving his head to uncontrollably short extremes every other day, 'working' at the speed of a snail,

5. Francis (the new chef) has moved into moirae's room and tends to go out with the tourny crew (although, personally i think he doesn't really fit in...)

6. i - i'm home, trying to get an early night but yet again, having to deal with all the pa-lava of the pub drama queens... same old, same old!!

danced some tonight behind the bar - where else could you do that at work?! so much fun :) with only the regulars in the pub, moirae and myself cranked up the volume and gave it our all - singing our hearts out to the the adoring crowds, lighters in hands, going country-style!

it's ever so quiet in the pub again, we've hit that time of year when it's just empty..unless the regulars decide to come in for a drink, they really do liven up the atmosphere in the tourny..what would we do without johnny, mark, will, pool-paul, naz, maggie....etc ;)?

so excited about L coming back home and seeing his last but belated bday present! lord only knows how much i splashed out on L for his bday...it was absolutely worth it though, every penny, pound, note! the smile on his face is unforgettable. don't you just love surprising loved ones with gifts and happiness? doesn't it make you feel so good? i love spoiling him!

my hair is getting so long :D well, you know it's not half-way down my back but it is up to my shoulders and it's bloody fantastic!! how i've missed long(-ish) hair... the diversity of hairstyles, it's so much fun! and just playing with it when i'm bored, curling, straightening, making it wavy, tying it up, keeping it on one side, putting a hairband on.. so many possibilities!

so happy it's friday tomorrow, and i have the night off!! woop woop! i need to hit the shops for some minor clothes/shoes indulgence ;) till next time...

xoxo

another sunny day

sat here in 'the office' trying to sneak in some time for myself and the internet, catch up on my life and gmail chat to my dad, before my boss gets back (which could be anytime soon..) while in the room next door a bunch of kids (6 of them, to be exact) sit trembling, hands shaking, minds working like clock work, writing their exams...

and my boss came in and i finish this post at home.

so..it's such a hectic time for me.. work work work like NEVER before and i'm starting to HATE it. my life has become a boring monotony of school-pub-(not enough) sleep-school-pub-(not enough) sleep... i ask myself why i do this.. and the answer is plain and simple: money. i haven't got much in my account, to be honest it's pathetic, but how else would i survive? what i do in the pub pays solely for my rent, the rest (school cash) i spend on food and other womanly needs (i.e. an occasional splash-out on clothes/shoes/drinks..). i thought i'd be better off but as life shows, i'm NOT. i'm constantly tired, fed up, yet i always manage to slap on a smile behind the bar. i have to. it's so sad. i'd rather yell at everyone and tell them to f-off cos i wanna go to bed. i'm over the pub work. i'm over working at two places. but it has to be done. 12 more weeks... just 12 more weeks left of this craziness... please keep me sane guys! give me some love!!

xoxo

up north where the sun don't shine

i'm spending my half-term at L's place. it just seemed to be the best thing to do. don't get me wrong, it is! BUT, where the heck is the sun?! it always seems to miss the north :( i hear (rather see) from friends' status's that it's oh so nice in london, why can't i get some sun-rays huh?

besides that, any time i go on the computer, i have to listen to the silence. i have no idea what L has done but there is no sound whatsoever when i go on the comp. so no itunes, no youtube, no nothing. just the clicking of the keys on the keyboard.

L is at work. that sucks. however, we had a wonderful easter weekend, spent it at his dad's and managed not to get into the hot-tub ;) as L is at work i have all the time in the world to catch up online, read my books and (drum roll) play on the Wii !! i can't believe we got it! it's the best thing ever :) we did it at the spur of the moment. we were heading back home from our saturday shopping spree for baby lily and we decided, what the hell, let's get a Wii. so we did. a black one! i've spent hours on it already, it's so enthralling. once you start you can't stop. it's made our evenings so much fun ;)

as for buying the Wii, we have now had to knuckle down and not spend any more. i've even made up a list of things we need to save up for..we'll see how well we stick to that!

just 4 more days and it'll be time for london again :( full-time work in the pub as i'm a little short on cash at the moment (thanks to school for not paying me during breaks, ugh). back to the daily grind of work. i'm shocked that time has flown by so fast. it's already nearing the end-of-school year! amazing! and uni seems to be lurking from round the corner - yikes!

xoxo

isn't it wonderful...

...how at 7pm it is still light :) LOVE it!

haven't a really good time, not so well financially but somehow i'm still chirping happy. possibly because i'm off for the next two weeks.. easter hols. so good to have so much time off, but i'll have to bite the bullet when it comes to my payslip.

my hair is so long! well, in everyone's standards, it's not but for me..i can't remember the last time my hair touched my shoulders which is happening and its soooo great!!! i wish they were longer though ;)

the weather here is pretty lame, when you leave the house in the morning, the sun's out and you have this vision that the day will be absolutely wonderful, like a proper spring day, but then as soon as you get into work, the sky clouds over and it starts raining...and it doesn't stop! so you get out of work, in your spring coat and pumps, ready to get all soaking, squishy wet. blah.

can't wait for it to brighten up.

then again, i can't wait to get into my wellies and go for walkies with lewis, up in the hills. somehow i find it unbelievably delightful.

hope everyone is well xoxo

sunday night unwind

what a luxury it is to be able to go shopping on your day off!

i set off bright and early at 1pm :p i slept in till 11:15 - oh what joy! the sun was out, the sky was blue, i put on my ipod, chucked on my green, spring jacket, put my camera in my bag and set off for high street kensington. now, i had no intention whatsoever to spend my whole day out in the shops but i did and i dont regret it a single bit :)

time flew so fast its amazing. i stopped in for a coffee at starbucks to boost my energy levels and came home to treat myself to a tuna sweetcorn pasta! now, i guess it's time to go to bed. get ready for another week of work work work. and next weekend? well, i will be hosting mrL's stay. maybe kew gardens on sat? gordon ramsay restaurant maybe? i'm not sure yee what we'll be doing but i know i'll be happy doing whatever!

yay for sunday's, boo-hoo for mondays :(

love xoxo

finally

the week has FINALLY come to a much desired end.

i'm terribly tired. my feet are aching. i've popped on i-tunes and decided that i am going shopping tomorrow. i don't care if i don't get anything, i just want to go out and enjoy myself.

not much to say, just that i'm overly tired and stressed with work.

nothing new.

cant wait for next weekend and mrL getting his bum over here!

love all xoxo

this is the best feeling

every time i log on here, i feel like i haven't written in forever.

to be honest, i don't ever have the chance to. I'm always on the run from here because whenever i do want to write there are so many things i'd like to tell you all.

i got some wonderful news recently - i got into uni! to do my pgce course in london so i can be a primary school teacher.

i have to do the course for a year but at least that will give me a chance to earn some decent money sooner rather than later. everything seems to be looking really good right now.

i'm still madly in love with Mr.L. things are going so well for us too...well, not the me-staying-in-london part..but all in all, it's something i have to do and i cant stop now. we're having the best time and thats all that matters.

i best shoot off..i'll add more tomorrow or the day after.

hope you are all well xoxo

new year's post

there's so much to tell. not enough time or energy to do so...
but main thing is - i'm as happy as i could ever be :)

i'm still in london.
i started working in LOS at the end of October and i'm still there!
i've applied for uni to do my pgce primary course. still havent had a positive response.
i need to save A LOT of money (for uni). not good.
i need to get a second job. not good either but at least i'll be able to survive next year.
i live above a pub.
i live withing 10min walk to work :)
i pay very little for my room but i still think its too much ;)
i never go out. fact. NEVER.
i'm going to poland soon!!! very soon.
i am growing my hair out but it's not long at all yet, it was too short to start with.
i have put on weight. it's a london thing (heathrow jab).
i plan on shedding my kilos soon. like - now.
i have a wonderful bfr.
he has an amazing family that took me in for christmas and new years.
i am currently skint.
i owe my mother £200. and E50.
i might get kicked out of the pub flat anytime because the pub is in administration.
if i get kicked out my life will be a lot harder.
i have too much free time after school. which is why i could easily do a second job. pub work most probably :/
it's freezing cold in london. icy and slippery, but our school forever remains open.
luton airport is the best airport (the only one open and with all flights running normally).
i miss having my own computer.
i tend to use laura's computer when she's at work - my only connection to the outside world!
i miss friends.
i miss my family.
i miss my cat!
i have been wearing a lot of dresses recently.
we do colour co-ordinated birthdays at school!
we go to vodka revolution bar for bday drinks.
we go to the pub on fridays after school (the malt house) to drink away our hard earned money, to rid of our school worries and annoyance at some kids.
i have fallen in love with fajitas.
i need more sleep.

i'm loving this year so far - so many good things ahead!

i'm sorry for not being in touch with everyone..i just dont have that many opportunities to go online and write..

much love x

yer

i spent spent spent nearly all my money this week, i've been so terrible but i had major things i needed to buy (mainly food and dress for tonight's dinner)..and so i am left with £60 for tonight.. which i think will do. however..i'm planning on going to stockton (L's place) not this weekend but the following weekend. now, moneywise, i've no idea if i can do it.. but i'll give it my best shot, i want to go to the hills and see the stunning views of the profound beauty of the north, Lewis promised he'd take me there to indulge the picturesque landscape - i can't wait! but i will have to get some money together. i think i'll be doing some serious saving this next week. it's not really a problem i just cant go out anywhere and i'll spend my free time at home!

i'm off to do some serious chatting and catching up with friends from secondary school - yay!

my strange ways

i shall start off by recapping on past events, so:
- Lewis pleasantly surprised me by coming to london two days earlier!
- we spent 6 days (and nights ;)) together
- we went sightseeing EVERY DAY!
- we had an awesome time
- spent way too much money ;)
- i didnt work for 4 days!

we started off with monday - notting hill carnival which was a lot of fun, colourful, loud and sunny, perfect day for a carnival, tuesday i loved - natural history museum and science museum so we literally spent the whole day acting like kids ;) wednesday - london zoo, again, absolute kid-like day out but we utterly enjoyed ourselves :D later went to see inglorious basterds at leicester square's odeon, thursday - tate modern and london eye and lewis had to go back home.. but wasnt it a jam packed week?! it was brilliant i tell you!

we got on so well, starting from being simply amazing friends and slowly we got pretty close..and right now, you could say we are in a relationship... and i know that i am once again getting myself into a long distance relationship but i feel that this could be it, this could be the one..i have never ever felt that before with anyone else..the feeling is so intense, probably because for the first time in my life, a guy is so utterly and trult head over heels for me. it feels amazing being with him, he treats me like a goddess, buys me stuff and pampers me, gives me the sweetest kisses ever and hugs me so tight that i feel like i'm melting inside. the feelings are unexplicable but i'm trying my best for you to get the picture, with what started as a usual friendship and mutual respect has now evolved into something i would never have thought possible.. all my worries, thoughts and anger towards danny has somehow evaporated..gone..it means nothing to me now, i could care less, he no longer lingers in my mind and all the what if's have now been happily replaced with thoughts of lewis and what it will be like to spend the rest of my life with him :) seriously i'm soo taken by lewis and his lovely self.. he's incredible guys.

dvd - you were so right, i love you man :)

i guess my future blogs will be about lewis and maybe my voyage to stockton? :D i'm handing in my teacher assistant papers tomorrow to london oratory so please please please keep your fingers crossed that i get the job!!! i really need it!!! but then again, if i didnt get it - i'd prob go to lewis and live with him ;) meh.. i'd totally go in as a lodger at first though - that would be so fun! i really want to see him, i miss him.

x

all at once

well, L is coming over to london for sure on monday, he has his tickets and i'm all excited.
its been so hard to forget about D but because he's not here in the country its making it so much easier, but then when i think that he will be back and i might see him on the streets or when i see his car or bike, i'll fall apart in an instance. i dont know how i will cope. i'll prob grab my phone and call L to help me out..
i've been getting chatted up a lot more than i had ever expected, in and out of the pub. but i'd like to make genuine friends here and i'm finding that extremely hard. i try not to spend my days off at home, but then i end up going to the shops and spending my money which i really shouldn't be doing, especially now that L is coming and we have lots and lots of plans to go out. first on the list is natural history museum along with science museum, soho and then cinema. next day will be london eye and hm..dont know? in the evening we will go on a speed-date thingy which should be so much fun and full of uncontrolable laughter ;) then we have thursday to say goodbye. maybe hyde park and serpentine?

i'm looking forward to monday guys, i'm so happy for once.
x

almost lover

what to do?

my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of D and then i have L who is coming over to lndn next week..we talk hours on end to each other during the day (and night) it's insane.. you wouldn't believe how well we get on, we truly are best friends. it's amazing fortunate and wonderful, i wouldn't change it for anything else...but i cant stop thinking of D. what is wrong with me? is there something wrong with me? can i not see that there ARE men out there who are willing to do SOOO much for me..

i'm roaming around and i've been looking but all i see...

L has been nothing but a sweetheart to me, talking to, helping, guiding, advising, critisizing, instructing, motivating, laughing at me. that and a million other things, more than i ever got from D, but still i cant control what i feel..and that i cant give my all to L, i'm just not ready..i cant let go of the past.

so i will do everything to enjoy the time i will have with L, i'm really over the moon he will be here, within arms reach for me to look at, smile at and laugh at :) i'm so excitied. i will obviousl steal all the cuddles i can get from him. he knows that i will. i need cuddles. i miss them. and i will miss L. but i miss D too.

so this is me. in london. for now...and a long time to come (hopefully).
x

painted faces

two days off in a row - luxury!!
i'm at home, not going into town so as not to spend money that i dont have :(
i had brekkie, gona have dinner when i get back and a coffee later on in the evening, and i'm sure i'll be having a lovely chat with L before bed...
D is in spain. and i'm jealous of him!
there is a possibility that L will be in london next week...finally, friends will be reunited! it will be awesome! he really does feel like a best friend to me.. it will be so good to finally have him around for a few days so that we can talk hang out and gossip all we want in real life, seeing him smile and laugh will be a unique experience..i cant wait!
love you all

london

i've decided to write an update as my life has been pretty much hectic.
i have a job, i work at a super fun bar in west brompton, the bar staff are amazing, i love all of them to bits, they make working there worthwhile, so do the customers (but not that there are many...mostly regulars who spend hours talking to you if you're in the mood).
i live in a rented room with a polish woman who is old. she's home 24/7 but doesnt mind me coming home way past midnight (sometimes even later when i decide i want to ''hang out''at *someone's* for a bit). i cook my own food, i do my own washing, i sleep in a double bed - i'm content.

work brings in shit money. but it lets me survive somehow bu like i said, i cannot save anything as i earn so little its shameful :( i hope that september will be a rebound and i'll pick up on a few teaching jobs that i've applied for.

but the main reason of my post was to talk about men.
how confusing the little beings can be.
as it has been for a long time now, there are two men who count most for me: L & D
i thought i'd write about it here but i think it's not the right place to be doing so. they both take the most important place in my heart. but one is closer one is further. and i dont know if i should settle for what is easier. i know many would say no, but it is so difficult knowing that L is so far and i'd be getting myself into a lot of trouble again if i fell for him, i know i cant do long distance ever again. and as for d, well..i think he's still deliberating what he wants from life and so he cannot let me in just yet, but seeing how things are going, we're both on the right tracks.

its good to know you have people around you who love you. i have a job, i have two men who adore me, i have my parents and i am in london. i'm happy. and i'd be even happier if i sorted out my love life once and for all ;)

xxx

brain.dead.

so its over.
D said we are no more than just "friends"

my heart has sunk so deep
i know its not the end of the world
but it hurts

and i'll try to smile my way through it even though it will not be easy

i dont know if i will keep this blog up any more.
i dont really see the point.
maybe if i ever get back to poland it'll be back up
but i think for now, i'm done.

no good news, no happy stories to tell, so i will let my blog die.

chillax

oh i really could do with some chillaxin ;)
and a bit of encouragement and support
thats been on my mind all day really

annoyance of the day:
1. (old) MEN who snort and then spit out all their snot and disgustingness out onto the friggin pavement, i mean, come on?! who on earth does that?! you only get it in poland!! UGH. sooo gross! and i was walking behind/next to (i was walking fast) to a man who did that and SPAT right in front of my feet i gave him the DIRTIEST of looks, i mean, wtf?!?! UGH. so nasto!

2. girsl/teenagers at gym. i dont get it. why the hell do they go to the gym their age (12?) in the first place when they should be outside having fun at the playground? i dont get it...? and the amount of deo they sprayed nearly made me throw up.

3. the price of pistachios. 51zl for a kilo!! :( i nearly cried but i got myself some for 21zl... not much though :( i love pistachios :(

a rush i can't explain

why the fuck am i so emotional?
i cried under the shower tonight
i stood there and thought
why i am so scared of everything
why i am voluntarily putting myself up for loneliness for god knows how long
why i am getting no support
why i fill my head with ideas that might not even come true
why do i have to be so fucking optimistic at times
why is it that when i need to talk no one is there
why cant i be strong
why do i rely on others
why do i try so hard
why do i fall in love...?

the last question will remain forever a mystery

i need to get away
i need to go to krakow
i need to get drunk with magda
i need to forget about everyone and everything again

maybe thats the problem? i'm leaving everything and everyone behind AGAIN. maybe thats why i'm so scared? that its all happening all over again..no friends around again, this time even worse - neither parent around..? i'm scared that what i'm counting on is too fragile and it'll all break beneath me. i'm scared shitless that i've gotten involved with something that might not even exist. i have fallen deep into this one again.. i'm scared of everything.

if only he knew just how hard it is...

rain sun rain sun - make up your bloody mind!!

so the weather has been a bit hectic and i've been putting aside my bike for much too long now. no matter what i will go out on my bike tomorrow!

i had a wonderful day, woke up at 6am and the sun was shining so bright then as it came closer to 9 or 10 it was getting darker and darker and by 1 and 2 it was raining on down. luckily my ass was in the gym at the right moments so not a droplet of rain fell on me and there was a lovely breeze in the gym all the time which was such a change! cos its usually so so stuffy in there it makes it quite unbearable to workout sometimes.

annoyance of the day:
my mother.
i told her about my plans (or rather my living plans) in london and - she was ok with it! BUT literally all day she has been doing my head in about the whole trip. it makes me so angry when she gets on to the topic of london, my "career"/education, rent, money, travel, the expensiveness, the ambition that i must pursue, my job, work, job, work, money and it just goes on and on. i know she's trying to help, but i really want to try and do this ON MY OWN. i really want to try and do it by myself and achieve all my goals no matter how long it will take me to fulfill them. on the other hand i know she's older and much wiser and maybe i am being "too" harsh, but havent you been through that? when you really want to become independent from your parents? i think i'll go ahead and watch Coraline just in case ;) (thanks tjrael)

omg, 10 days?!

tell me this isn't true?!
i'm getting quite freaked out about the whole trip now cos i know i wont have the money to do nothing for even a week :( i will have to get to job hunting asap!
and to top it all off i've been bailed out by a friend who was supposed to take me in for a few weeks, and i frantically started looking for ads on gumtree.. when i got a message that i'm sorted when it comes to having a bed to sleep on... just not too sure what my parents will say when they hear with whom and so on..
but i'm 24 right?
i can make my own decisions
and this one i AM making
i need a place to stay and this is the only available option at the moment

to be honest, my parents haven't been super encouraging and supportive of me, my mum in particular ahs been "warning" me of what lies ahead and how its not gonna be easy and how i will have to work hard - i KNOW all of that! but what they also dont understand is that i like to do things differently too.. i plan, i always do and for that they should be happy ;) but they dont like the way i plan things and so i'm not sure they're gonna like my idea of where i'll be staying. but like i said, right now, there is no other option.

annoyance of the day:
my weight.
i cant believe i havent dropped. i hardly eat (although you cant see the result AT ALL) and i work out. i know i must be doing it worng but it always used to work before :/ maybe its the pill? it's my only explanation atm. and i need a tan. right. now. tanning. bed. here. i. come.

thunder at 3 am

i know its terribly late but i've been up all this time, mainly because i was watching MJ's memorial (replay, as i was out all day)
and then i started chatting to people online, sending CVs and things and time just flies!
i only just realised how late it was..
the thunder outside is crazy! rain, lightening and rumble.
wonderful night :)
lucky i'm at home and soon gonna be in bed.

i'm worried about london,
worried about me not having a job..
but uber happy to have so many good people around to help me out
uber happy to be there soon
i've checked in online already (unlike last time - damn ryanair)
i have my passport waiting for me :) it feels so good!

annoyance of the day:
my leather flip-flops.
not really the best on the world. the strap just rammed into my foot. def not wearing them tomo, i have to let my feet rest a while.

lazy monday

gym.gym.gym.

and two annoying girls there who had no previous experience in working out! hilarious! :D no towels, no water, no will power nor strength/endurance. and to top it all off they sprayed like a gazillion litres of perfume on themselves in case they got sweaty (!?) absurd. maybe it was just me who was agitated by them..? i was the only one there i suppose..

oh oh, and you gotta love the dudes who are so in love with themselves :D one in particular was walking there and back staring at me so i just started smiling back at him and he actually started chatting me up and i was trying to control myself so that i didnt laugh straight into his face :D he was so full of himself. loose top yet you could see he was ripped like mad, leather belt (why do they have those??) i didnt go down any further so that he didnt get the wrong idea and caught me looking ;) oh, funny days! shall prob be seeing him around..

annoyance of the day:
HUGE male, possibly in his 40's maybe even early 50's, bald, and sweaty. trolleybus. him sitting at the very back slap bang in the middle, could not go unnoticed. now picture this:
hawaiian shirt UNDONE totally!! MASSIVE beer belly, and i mean massive! and his shirt was undone (puke!!) shorts!!! and sandals!! omg, that guy was a fashion tragedy. i wish i'd taken a pic i mean it couldnt get any worse than that ;)!

what really gets me

last night at the club, there was one girl who was so damn desperate to get a man it was so revolting, it truly was, the first guy that literally *stuck* to her she stayed with for the whole night and my god did i wanna puke, the guy was (obvioulsy) butt ugly, he never opened his eyes (he was so drunk) AND turns out he was french so neither of them talked the whole night, it was all about the touching, close "dancing" and grinding. i find that so foul. i find that SO irritating that i was simply and genuinely running away from them all night long BUT they kept following me and i know, we were there together as a group and the bride-to-be was with me most of the time so it was no surprise that in the end we would end up within an arms reach of each other. but i seriously could NOT stand the guy. he was so hiddeous i wonder what on earth he was doing at a club and with us. sigh. but it has to be said, the night was a wonderful one :)

annoyance number two, was observed today at a family get-together. dear lord how i cant stand people who cant eat properly! when they dont know how to lift their arm towards their mouth and their arms never lift from the table. OMG that pisses me off so bad. it just goes to show who has bad/good table manners. i know for sure that those are one of the things that would make me split up with someone if he were to eat like that. SO annoying! in fact, i turn away not to look cos it pushes my butons.

katy perry alone on the dance floor

i was a celebrity last night
yet no one (here i mean GUY) would dance with me
besides the fact that ALL the guys were fricking dead ugly
bald
straight-from-the-gym type ugliness
and there i was with my pink mega-super-duper bow
and yet no one (luckily, i think) danced with me
i rubbed up against a few peeps
but it was nothing nice
sweat and nasto smells
baldness and glasses
short and burly

i mean.. does he have to be so far away?!
:p

the music was good, really dancy sort of music
the bride-to-be looked absolutely stunning and she had the time of her life (i believe)

i want more.
truly yours,
katy perry (aka omasia)

oh dear lord..

i thought i was free of him
but he is back haunting me again

i got an email this morning from him

"4 years since. And still am sick about you..."

wtf am i supposed to do about that?? i really couldn't care less
and as a side note - i thought i had blocked him on my gmail :/?