almost lover

what to do?

my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of D and then i have L who is coming over to lndn next week..we talk hours on end to each other during the day (and night) it's insane.. you wouldn't believe how well we get on, we truly are best friends. it's amazing fortunate and wonderful, i wouldn't change it for anything else...but i cant stop thinking of D. what is wrong with me? is there something wrong with me? can i not see that there ARE men out there who are willing to do SOOO much for me..

i'm roaming around and i've been looking but all i see...

L has been nothing but a sweetheart to me, talking to, helping, guiding, advising, critisizing, instructing, motivating, laughing at me. that and a million other things, more than i ever got from D, but still i cant control what i feel..and that i cant give my all to L, i'm just not ready..i cant let go of the past.

so i will do everything to enjoy the time i will have with L, i'm really over the moon he will be here, within arms reach for me to look at, smile at and laugh at :) i'm so excitied. i will obviousl steal all the cuddles i can get from him. he knows that i will. i need cuddles. i miss them. and i will miss L. but i miss D too.

so this is me. in london. for now...and a long time to come (hopefully).
x