car diary #5/ ramble

junctions. signalling and turning! it was fun i must admit. the reversing - not so much. i can't steer to save my life when i reverse. lovely. that's pretty much it for my car innuendos.

i am still considering going to a pub and working for a while until i get some jobs from my teaching agency. however, how on earth will i when there is nothing out there!? ugh. it's so annoying, it's getting on my tits. big time. MrL has left for two weeks today and i'm already wondering what i'll do with myself...
- go to the local pub (again) and ask for ANYTHING, even a few hours...i just want a job!
- mow the lawn
- cover the car
- hoover my car (it is MINGING)
- hoover the house and general spring clean
- paperwork --> file it
- sort out the kitchen (ie tidy)

that's pretty much it.

one of me best friends is in london, and it's just made me thought about how much i miss it. i've never really sat down and mulled over the fact that i'm not there anymore. i miss it. i miss the possibility of hopping on the underground and going to the city, walking around (obs window shopping) and getting coffee at starbucks (something i truly miss up here - starbucks). i love to people watch too, which is not happening here. all i can see out of my window are more houses and, er, yeah, the street.

 that is literally all i can see from the kitchen window round the front. also, when i look down i see this:

yes, the plants that are slowly (quickly?) dying in the front garden. it gets unbelievably windy up here and the plants take an awful battering. i have no idea how they actually survive!

what a difference to the views i had in london. plus there really is nothing to do here. i've come accustomed to being on my own at home. but i must admit, i cannot wait to get out and be busy in a school. i need to meet people and make friends. otherwise, my life will be ultra boring.

on a positive note (not for my bank though) i made a ma-hoo-sive shop on amazon (have i mentioned this before?) and i went 'school shopping' mad. i've bought tons of stickers which arrived today!

express delivery is great. i'm still waiting for my tambourine, book, poly pockets and more stickers! hopefully they'll get here on monday.

seriously nothing else is going on in my life. hope you're all well and having a great weekend

xoxo

everyday woes

i have signed up to a teaching agency! hoorah. until they receive my crb i won't get anything, so fingers crossed they get it by next week. i'm so utterly skint it's unbelievable. i need to work. i am limited. i can only teach in my local area, as i can only commute by bus at the moment, hence why i need to do my driving test asap. but i need to learn to drive first. ugh. i can't wait to teach! i've been waiting for this for so long. i am aware, however, that i won't have work everyday. but anything at the moment will suffice. in fact, i've been doing so much reading and i have a possible amazon shopping spree ahead - i need to stock up on so much (ie stickers, children's books, pens, folders etc) just backup items i will need when going to schools.

wish me luck guys! and more importantly, pray that i get a permanent job SOON. i don't want to be supply all this next year. i need to get my induction done and i want a class of my own! to teach and bring up as MY OWN.

xoxo

Car diary #2, 3 & 4

as a word of thanks, i owe my correct title to ania (dairy..diary ;)

right, my second driving 'lesson' was sponsored by the word FAIL. it was absolutely awful. it started fantastically - three perfect set offs, but then..disaster struck. i could no longer start and i kept stalling the car. for a whole HOUR. it was torture. and it ended in tears and an argument. no beuno.

so MrL asked a friend (who is a driving instructor) to give me a lesson. so we come to my third lesson, which was amazing. i set off, i bloody well set off! no problems! just goes to show what a real instructor can do (although i have heard of crap instructors..). so, having learnt HOW to set off it was time to put it into practice with MrL the following day.

and my fourth lesson was at a football stadium car park, where i set off every time - no stalling whatsoever! however, i set off quite slowly...i need to quicken that. next lesson may be tomorrow or friday. will be practicing signaling and turning at a junction! yikes!

xoxo

p.s. i present you with MY CAR! anyone have any name suggestions?

Car diary #1

as some of you already know, MrL got me a car yesterday. we managed to get it in the afternoon and as soon as we got it home we went online to get me some insurance and breakdown cover (you just never know!). we drove to tesco and got me some magnetic L plates to whack on and this is where the fun started.

 we stayed in the car park at tesco (bear in mind it was about 10pm). i stalled the car a couple of times, i kangaroo-ed like crazy AND i had to deal with silly people who drove my way in the car park! we really need to go to a place where i can just practice stopping and starting my vehicle. oh dear, i haven't even mentioned what it is! my car is a 2003 citroen saxo in royal blue. it looks good. the interior is...a bit iffy, hasn't been cleaned in YEARS. the chairs are falling apart (they move about quite a bit) so we're getting them changed tomorrow. apart from a few squeaks and a certain rattle whilst turning right, the car seems absolutely fine. i'll try and put up some pics tomorrow as unbelievably i haven't taken any yet.

so my journey with my saxo begins. driving will commence and i'll let you all know how 'well' i drove today.

xoxo

CATS

sitting on my sofa enjoying eastenders, in the corner of my eye i noticed 'something' moving in the garden. i looked over and saw the sweetest gray cat!

this little kitty really wants me to have my own, but what with my unstable situation, we've put getting a cat on hold till MrL gets back in October next year.

and then, i looked again and saw this sneaky fella....

how cute!!!

enough about cats, i need to go and do some shopping. the essentials, you know - bread, eggs, biscuits!

xoxo

life's guilty pleasures

what more can i say, other than today i had the most chillaxed day in ages. bank holiday monday deserved to be totally chilled out, so what if i was on my own? fear not, i am not entirely alone. lo and behold i have my tv on (stephen fry's 100 greatest gadgets - 3 hours worth!) and... this beauty..

and on that bombshell, i bid you goodnight!

how are you enjoying your evenings?

xoxo

potatoes!

yes, i've gone a bit potato mad. MrL had a brilliant idea one day, and that was to plant the potatoes we had in our kitchen as they were starting to grow legs and were itching to get out. so he put them out. out into a box filled with fresh soil in our back garden. we kept them there for quite some time and they flowered beautifully with purple forget-me-not style flowers. it was a pretty sight. what was NOT a pretty sight was the amount of spiders, ants, caterpillars, larvae, centipedes, SLUGS and other nasties we found whilst uncovering the potatoes. i think L did a great job excavating them out. i dare not go near them since i found the bugs. so i held the plastic bag to collect our treasure. it's a shame i didn't take any 'before' pictures, as the potatoes we found were, well, not the prettiest to say the least. i'd say, about a quarter of them were perfect - no bites, no mold, no cracks, no funny black/brown spots. i scrubbed them all down and after having thrown some out we were left with 54 home-grown potatoes!

it was time to eat them, and boy were they delicious. we still have about a third left, so many more mash nights to come (i'm sure MrL is over the moon).

i'm certain we'll do exactly the same next year, as what's more enjoyable than eating veg from your own garden - i'm loving it!

have you got anything edible in your garden?

xoxo

boredom makes me take pictures

as the title indicates, i'm bored. day two of being in the house and not really doing anything apart from cleaning tidying and sitting on my arse in front of the tv. so i picked up my camera and took pictures of some things that i thought were worth capturing.

this big bad boy sat by the front door. making himself snug there. goes to show how often i get out.

ivy, waiting for it to grow roots so i can start planting them in the back garden.

they were beautiful roses sat on the dining table in our vase..they are now dead. i have tried to save the petals for a home-made potpourri attempt.

i managed to salvage a few, stuck them in little glass jars that i had lying around.

four of which looked decent enough to still stand in the vase, so i left them..but apparently you should have an uneven number in a bouquet..oh i'm such a rebel!

i plaited my hair from all this boredom this morning with a little 'not-so-obvious' side bun. i might do this again tomorrow.

and that would be it ladies and gents, that is all i've been up to.. hope you liked the pics.

xoxo

brutal awakening

monday was my 'looking for any old job' day, just to get some cash in my bank account as it's been april since it last saw a payment in. since then it's all been 'out out out' and quite literally i have nothing to take out anymore. i was serious about finding any job on monday. i went to pubs and shops. i left with 20 CVs, i came back home with 20 CVs. what the hell is going on? there is literally NO work up here. forget teaching jobs, there are NO jobs AT ALL. in this disbelief i spent today calling shops in darlington and retail parks..and..you guessed it - NOTHING. i'm baffled, absolutely baffled. maybe it's just the timing - it is the end of summer so all the summer jobs are still taken (come october there might be some jobs lurking?) but what can one do till then? am i supposed to sit at home and tidy all day??! hell no. yes, there are cleaning jobs going, but somehow i can't get to grips with becoming 'a cleaner' :( not after all this hard work i've put into becoming a bloody teacher. it just makes me fume with anger that i don't have a car and that i live so far from any major city.

end of rant. hope you're all doing well. any ideas on what i could do in this situation warmly welcome!

xoxo

no car, no money, no lessons.

life teaches you things the hard way. we had been intent on getting me to drive asap on returning from our holiday....but, having spent a week mulling over hundreds and thousands of car ads (autotrader and pistonheads were certainly the most looked at), we looked at insurance. and we died. quite literally. how on earth can one afford to be insured. it's absurd, nearly £1,500 for a learner driver. my heart skipped a few beats when i saw the rates. on top of that: tax and the car itself! HOLY MACAROLI i thought to myself. so we've had to put off my lessons till next week. fingers crossed we can get a decent car next weekend. MrL is away again till thursday and then again the whole of the following week. i guess this is how life will look like from now on for the next 8 months.

tomorrow i'm out in town to look for a job. i'm fed up of not having any money, not being able to get things i like..we've totally cut down on all our spending. this week i shall be living off tesco value food. yay. there's always time for a first in life...and this is it.

i really don't care what job i get as long as it pays me each week i'm onto it.

xoxo

engrossed in studying the highway code

yes, you read correctly, i've been soaking up all the info i need to know before i set off to the streets on north england in a car. i haven't yet started driving and in a way i'm kind of glad.. i would love to have some pre-lessons from MrL but my driving instructor has forbidden it! she says i'll just pick up bad habits and she'd love me to not know anything as i'll learn everything the 'proper way' from day one. however, i'm not so sure that's a great idea. i would like to have the basics under control so i don't get stressed out on how to start and stop. what do you think?

for the first time EVER i have painted my nails red. i used rimmel's rapid ruby and although the brush is incredibly huge, the tapered brush made it easier to keep the rounded shape avoiding square ragged cuticle area.

so, as i stress about my driving lessons, i hope you're all doing well and enjoying the end of the summer!

xoxo

home at last

after what seems a lifetime, we're back home. we had a fantastic week in poland (wed - wed) the weather was fab and i totally chilled out with the Mr, my parents and sister. we had a HUGE dinner for my gran's 90th that lasted...wait for it.... 7 hours!! what a day. food food food. i look like a barrel now. thank you very much polish food. may the diet begin!

straight after we got back from poland at midnight, we had to set off to portsmouth in the morning for a cousin's wedding. it was beautiful. words cannot explain how gorgeous the bride looked and how amazing the reception was too. i had such a wonderful time. and we stayed at the hotel which was mindblowingly stunning. we set off on saturday and stopped over at L's mum's for a quick catch up followed by staying over at his sister's place. we looked after her cat who is crazy! but it made us want a cat for ourselves so much..we've started looking at rspca and cat protection places round here in the north. i can't wait to have a furball of my own! we returned home last night after stopping over at L's dad's to see his sister who has come back to the uk for good from dubai.

we had a brilliant time, the hard bit now though is to return back to reality and normal every day life. plus, we have to come to terms with the fact that we will not be going away for a holiday this year again. and the fact that L will now be busy from sept till april and then i won't see him till october. it still doesn't seem real. i need to get my driving lessons going but i need to pass my maths qts first! fingers crossed for tomorrow guys! i need it.. ugh.

how have you spent your summers? hope everyone is well

xoxo

finally...home bound next week

so we've finally found out that MrL's holiday has been approved so we shall be going to the ball! (well, my gran's 90-th, in Poland!)

just booked the tickets and i'm super excited

yes, buying them such last minute has cost me an arm and a leg but i really want to go somewhere this year and home it will be. that's the only holiday i'll be having. meh.

and i finally gave back my chelsea shoes from topshop...and got my photo done for my provisional licence, so the ball is finally rolling. and how horrid do i look in my pic? ew. the 'no-smile' rule is ridonculous. i look like a murderer and i'm wanted. tragedy. won't be flaunting my licence to anyone. no way!

how are your passport/licence pics? as bad as mine? i doubt!

what a weekend

MrL returned from his charity walk and it all kind of started from there.. he sat himself (or rather lay himself) down on the sofa and took off his socks. and it was clear to me that we'd be making a trip to the A&E. after trying to clean up the mess i told him it doesn't look 'great' and that maybe we should go to the hospital. he agreed. no argument, no nothing, we just went which goes to show in how much pain he must've been in. as you all probably know, men NEVER go to the doctors so going to A&E without a fuss was somewhat a miracle. we left at about 1:30am (he got back at midnight saturday). it was a nightmare. full of drunkards, smashed noses, 'broken' legs, wrists and cheekbones. old lady in agony and us. doctors were called to a resuscitation somewhere in the hospital, so A&E was literally dead for an good hour or more. we finally got to see the doctor who gave MrL antibiotics and suspected stress fracture (even though it didn't show up on the x-ray). as we headed out to leave, the sun was out, birds were chirping and it was bitterly cold. 5am. i am utterly disgusted by the amount of time we had to wait at A&E and at the complete ignorance of staff members towards the old lady in agony who was sat behind us, crying her eyes out, moaning in pain and most obviously suffering on the eyes of everyone, yet nobody bothered to do anything. i am appalled. yes, it was saturday night and maybe i should have expected that, but i seriously hope they have something like 'secret patient' at A&E so they really know what service (or lack of) is available at some places.

sunday we spent catching up on things, watching top gear, f1 and the apprentice 'final' (it was incredibly hard not spilling the beans and keeping a straight face when he kept coming up with who will win!). we dog/house-sat and had a lovely sunday dinner at the local pub (didn't take any photos but such a beautiful place). we relaxed with a foot spa and medical aids from NHS (thanks to L's step-mum) which hopefully will relieve L's feet aches and pains.

today, i'm sat at home, bored, again. L's at work (!!) and i'm trying to clean the house. obviously failing miserably as i'm sat here blogging instead.

hope everyone's had a good weekend. any stories from A&E?

proud

MrL has completed his charity walk in holland and i am SUPER proud of him. he called me every day and with each day, i could hear in his voice less and less enthusiasm and eagerness. i tried to do my best in cheering him on over the phone, but he's finally done it. and on a plus note he'll be home tomorrow night! apparently his feet are swollen, he can't walk on his left foot and it's all 'blisters galore'.

i have an abundance of apples and bananas in my kitchen which is just screaming out to me to make some sort of crumble or cupcakes.

i do however need to go and give back those topshop chelsea boots..i've decided they need to go. i think i might spend the refund on all those h&m jumpers ;) and while i'll be 'in town' i'll pop into superdrug and boots. i can also hear estee lauder calling my name..... oops!

still haven't bought my tickets to poland. my only holiday this summer. like last year. when will i finally go away to greece for my summer hols? or spain? italy? france? australia...? dream on. since MrL is going on tour in april, i'll be alone till october, so no summer holiday next year either. guess i'll have to wait till 2013.

what are you fav/dream summer holidays?

xoxo

away from home

currently child/house/dog sitting. don't know how i got myself into this mess..desperately trying to think of things i can do with a 12 year old girl for the next two days. hm. it's raining out. the fridge is full - this might call for a kitchen cook up!

other than that, MrL is trudging on with his charity walk in holland. his feet are falling apart - let's face it, 50km every day for four days..that's a LOT of walking to do. still, he has to last till friday and then he's coming home. i have a feeling he will be pretty hurting and he'll be pretty grumpy (ie i think i'll try not to get in his way and try not to 'mummy' him too much!)

hope everyone's well. any accomplishments you'd like to share with the world?

internet shopping

it has been a thrilling day for me as i had two packages (in fact three - unexpectedly!) coming to my abode today.

the first was from tesco. i did my shopping online. because i don't have a car and it was pouring down sunday/monday, my fridge was looking dreadfully empty i needed food. so i got it this morning. all in the time slot so no complaints there. they changed two things for what they had available which was fine by me. however..the bread they gave me goes off tomorrow, so do all the other bakery things that i got. i'd made the mistake of ordering a 6 pint (!!!) bottle of milk which goes off on friday - wtf? how on earth? so silly. will have to make something that uses a LOT of milk. pancakes? cakes? muffins?? apart from those few bits, the whole things was great! delivered straight to my doorstep (the gent was kind enough to bring the crates into my kitchen) oh - it was meant to be all packed in bags (which it wasn't) but i guess that's ok, however i do think i paid extra for that...? hm.

on to my second shop - topshop.
i went to the 'local' topshop here and the shoe selection they had was pretty shocking. maybe 5 pairs? tragedy. so i went online and found two chelsea boots that i fell in love with!! so i whipped them up into my shopping basket and ordered them for today. and i got them - i ripped the packaging open and they still looked great! i put them on and my face dropped. they just looked horrid.. now i don't know whether it was my jeans, leggings, pale legs, shorts, but they just did not suit me, AT ALL. i chucked them aside and sneered at them and wondered "why?" i returned to twitter and got some of the best advice from a lady under the name of @Miss_Merx "give them back. Nothing good ever came of uncertainty. Get your money and get something swoonful for your feet" i agreed - tomorrow they will be gone. back to topshop.
but now...i'm really trying to fall in love with them again. they're still shoved by the corner but their wallowing is calling and i desperately want to find something that will make them look good on me. off i go to get a pair of tights....

how would you style your chelsea boots?

the third package is for MrL i believe it's something from his company

i have also made yet ANOTHER purchase. no thanks to twitter and a particular blogger lollipop26 i've succumbed to buying the black focco bag from this ebay seller. i cannot wait till i get it. but i promise, this is the end of my internet purchases. i need to get my tickets to poland (prices are constantly rising but i still have to wait for MrL's holiday leave letter from work - grr!)

what have you bought online?

p.s. oopsies - i forgot that i have another mini package coming (nyx jumbo pencils bought on a blog sale ;))

p.p.s JUST had a look at the h&m collection and i've built up a nice collection in my basket. but i will not buy. i have no money :( well i do, but i need to stop this online buying spree. but oh my - have you seen it? i want to buy every jumper they have!!! eek!!

cry

i'm stuck at home. bored. jobless. alone. stressed. foodless (just did my shopping online at tesco - that's what you get when you don't have a car and it's raining outside and your fridge is empty). raining, gray, cold. i could go on. but you get the picture - is this summer?

just talked to a friend (a fellow NQT from uni) and she's told me about her class and school where she's starting work in september.
i couldn't hold back and i shed a tear.
i wish i could say that too - MY classroom, MY pupils, MY school.
instead, i'm sat at home calling teacher agencies to get something going for september.

i've realised that i NEED a driving licence. i spent hours (no joke) registering to get a provisional licence on directgov. what a waste of time and a load of bs. but it had to be done. once i'd finally managed to get to the end, they said that they had to send me SOMETHING by post (what it is, i have no idea and i can't find out) and that my application is not yet complete until i send the post thing back. super annoying.

the wii has become a close 'friend' of mine over these past few days..

sad much? yes.

xoxo

bag lady

i've still got a few bags that i need to unpack. only problem is, is that i have nowhere to put the things away, they are typical'on-your-desk/ in-your-office' type of things. i'm lacking both here. no desk, no office. so nowhere to put my things. i've already stashed my paperwork in the single bedroom and it doesn't look great.

no luck on the job front. am i really not good enough for schools up here?

Mr L and i have come to the conclusion that i have to do my driving licence. i will need to borrow a couple of thousand pounds from the bank. i just hate being in debt - already crappy as i had to take a student loan to pay off my uni.

oh, i must tell you - I'M OFFICIALLY A FULLY QUALIFIED TEACHER in the uk!! woop woop!! in fact, Mr L came all the way from harrogate to celebrate with me. he took me out to a restaurant and then we popped over to the cinema to watch a highly romantic film, namely.. transformers! i had such a wonderful evening. it's ever so lovely to spend time alone with L, away from home and going on 'dates'. brings back good memories!

the weather was glorious today! at last. i'm having horrendous problems getting tickets to poland from up here, as my trian/bus tickets do not work with my flight times :/ totally don't know what to do...

i'm dying to get a certain pair of shoes from topshop but i cannot get them due to my being rather skint and jobless. might get L to take me to the centre tomorrow. might take a trip to topshop just to check them out in real life.

L is so busy, he wasn't supposed to be around at all this week but he's been round three times!! he comes back tomorrow and come saturday he leaves to holland for his nijmegan walk. OH. and today, he received an official letter that his squadron is being deployed to afghan in april. no comment. i'm still trying to comprehend and letting it sink in.

xoxo

bricking it

for tomorrow i find out whether or not i passed my essays :/ which results in my passing the course (or not). oh gosh. let it all be over now!

xoxo

and so i have moved

and hell am i glad to be out of that house in london.
after a hellish few months, i've finally made it up north.
life here will be so dramatically different. work will be hard to find, new friends to be made, NQT year to be commenced and day-to-day putting up with MrL! what a crazy life i have.
i'm utterly ecstatic, enthusiastic and enthralled about this new life of mine. i was going to write 'wish me luck' however, i don't need any. i already feel lucky (how sad i hear you say? hah!)

as i have now all the time in the world, i have decided to start up my 'Today I Saw' blog. Go and have a look... Link!

xoxo

Am i, am i, MIA?

a bit, yes, in fact very much so!
school, planning, resubmitting essays and lack of sleep is what my life has been consisting of since half term.
there really is nothing to tell. only that i have just two more weeks of school left! i cannot wait till it's all over.

that's it guys. my life is pretty boring at the moment.

i want my life back.

please?

xoxo

a day filled with tears

just getting some really rubbish news back from a school i was putting all my hopes in. not teh best news, one might even say it was simply 'bad' news. i didn't even get shortlisted for the interview on thursday. their complaint? i hadn't specified enough info about my catholic ethos. gobsmacked. totally and utterly incomprehensible to me as i had stuffed my application with catholic schools i'd been to and volunteer work in such school and how i would like to bring that ethos into my own classroom, the values that i cherish and live by. i really felt like asking 'what should i have written' but i knew it wasn't the time or place to do so. so i put the phone down with tears running down my face. i just felt lied to. i didn't want to believe it. i now am starting to feel overly stressed about actually finding a job up north. i'm starting to wonder whether i will find a job. and so the tears flowed more so. just the though that i'm not having much luck and that i could be jobless after putting everything into this course..makes me feel like a failure. i might have to think about alternative ways of earning some money..maybe private tuition? god knows i'd rather be in a school but maybe i might have to look at all my options.

right now, i have to do my weekly planning (x3: literacy, numeracy and thematic) plus 15 session plans. on top of that i need to rewrite 3 essays for uni (2x maths and 1 literacy). off i go. goodbye xoxo

glee addict...

i absolutely loved this weeks glee...the songs were so damn good!! absolutely stunning renditions of some true classics, and the whole theme of 'prom' me like-y :) go watch if you haven't yet!

ok guys, i'm on twitter and have been for a ridiculous amount of time so get your butt on the move and get yourself over there (@omasia) start tweeting twitteristas!

also, tomorrow (or rather today) i'm going on a trip with my class and i have the nicest group to work with - so happy :) i really love the kids i'm working with - such a joy! i think i love this whole teaching job ;)

i can't sleep.
i slept too much in the afternoon.
ah well...

i love Lewis. just thought i'd say that out loud. ha. i wonder if he'll ever read this (even if it is in 10 years time...)

xoxo

saturday musings

i woke up and saw what a beautiful day it was, so i decided there was no way i was going to stay at home all day. i went out. to oxford street.

~ clinique superfine eyebrow pencil - check
~ h&m shoes and handbag - check
~ zara red shopper handbag - check
~ starbucks mocha frappucino - check!

what a day :)

xoxo

drunkenness on a friday night

never thought i'd get so drunk after school on 3 cocktails. jeez. horrible horrible stuff!! i had to go to bed when i got home to sober up! tragic.

did my planning today with my teacher breathing down my neck - so so stressful :/ but it's done. i have so much to do for next week! better start planning my sessions tomorrow!

boring-weekend-ahead alert.

xoxo

tired.

school is really tiring me out. i even napped today, straight after school from about 7-11. how awesome is that. now i'm awake and i can finish off my planning for tomorrow. worse thing is, i have to spend tomorrow morning planning the whole of next week which i've never done before and i will have my teacher breathing down my neck overlooking my planning skills. how stressful. not looking forward to it at all.

i will really try and get my session planning done this weekend so i can chill out a bit more during the week. i know it's such a crap way of spending my weekend, but i'd rather that than have to do all of it all week.

i can't wait to go up north for half-term.

letting off some bloody steam...

i guess being annoyed is what you get when you live in shared accommodation. i know i'd be a complete dunce if i started taking my bread and jam into my room. but leaving it out in the kitchen, on my shelf, obviously does not keep away other people's hands. to the point - i have no bread for tomorrow's lunch. someone has been helping themselves to my bread. i'm peed off. it's annoying that i now have to buy lunch tomorrow in a silly corner shop (which tastes naff) but what can you do apart from slamming the fridge door and whacking plates about and cursing under my nose. that's me - just not bloody bold enough to tell someone that i'm pissed off because they've taken my food. is it just me, or is it really normal for people who have known each other for a few months to just 'help themselves' to anything in the kitchen, even when they know i am a bit anal about my things. i don't like people thinking 'what's mine is yours'.

i guess i'll get over it by tomorrow evening.

i guess i'll just put up with it, seeing that i won't be here and won't have to deal with these things after mid-july.

it's just that i'm working so frigging hard, i have hardly any time to do much and i just like things to GO MY WAY.


am i overreacting? dramatizing the whole situation? i'm not sure anymore.



on a brighter note: i had a WONDERFUL day today! brilliant lessons (maths and science) got my marking done and planning all up to date (still!) i'm so impressed with myself - i'm doing ok with all this work. yes, it's time-consuming and i get tired, but i'm giving it my all. and it seems to be paying off!

tomorrow, however, i KNOW i will have a crappy PE session and prob an even worse literacy lesson (poetry.....with year 1. imagine that :/...)

fingers crossed i get through tomorrow.

and that i get over my food snatchers.

xoxo

sunday shopper

after working hard all day on saturday making resources for my maths sessions this week, i decided to treat myself today. what better way than with a bit of retail therapy!

i was intending on leaving at 11 to be at the shops for 12..well, knowing me, i made it for a disappointing 2pm.. and i headed to the MAC store on church street and i bought my first ever product - the studio finish concealer! yay! i haven't used it yet, however i did test it out in the store and it cover my blemish on my hand so i think i'll be pretty satisfied with this product, definitely happy that i got this. i then strolled over to h&m and exchanged a pair of shorts that i had bought a few weeks ago..i had to get a size 14 ;) now now, i haven't gotten 'bigger' i just prefer my shorts to be a bit looser on me. i also grabbed a lovely little beach dress (very see-through) which will come in handy when i go on my holiday to greece (a girl can dream, right?). lastly, i snatched up a cute little skirt that tpuches my knees (very important when working as a teacher) it's striped with yellow, red and blue horizontal stripes. so pretty!

i went to boots and nearly got Cliniques' All About Eyes cream. however, i changed my mind just in time! £21 seemed a little overpriced. instead i headed towards the skincare section and picked up the garnier tinted roll-on for under the eyes and a day eye cream (2 for £12 - bargain!) and no, i didn't get origins vitazing either.. i still have 3/4 left of my Clinique moisturiser, so i'm totally ok with that!

i have so much work for this week!!! never thought teaching was so stressful and time consuming :( but it's all worth it in the end. two more weeks till half-term, two more weeks till half-term....

xoxo

limbo much?

i definitely feel like i've been in limbo since easter really, spending all my time going over school stuff, mainly planning and making resources for the week..every day i come back tired and sleepy, but i have to plan plan plan and make resources all the time so my teaching is better than ever ;)

last week, i must admit, was pretty rough. it started on wednesday at noon straight after my supervising tutor from uni observed my maths lesson - i got so nauseous! i felt horrendous! twice during the rest of the afternoon i felt like i was going to barf all over. but, luckily, i didn't! i'm not sure if any of you are aware that something like this exists but i am terrified of getting sick (also known as emetophobia). this continued on thursday too.. i was shaking and feeling hot and dizzy, my stomach was killing me. i was starting to freak out somewhat. and i decided to not eat proper food just toast, totally cleanse my system. i felt great on friday, hardly any pain. today, i felt a bit weird in the morning but that may have been due to the lack of energy (i may have been feeling a bit hungry at this point). i had toast this morning (with jam, i couldn't resist!) and felt ok, so i had 2 slices of toast with jam for lunch and dinner ;)! i'm feeling good. hopefully, i'll start eating more normal foods tomorrow...and my stomach won't go mental on me again....

i'm going shopping tomorrow. i NEED a moisturiser, so i'm getting Origins Vitazing. i also need a concealer - so i'm going for MAC's Studio Finish concealer. and the last thing on my list is an eye cream - Clinique's All About Eyes is my choice. a splurge i know. my student pocket WILL feel this shopping spree. but these are things that i will NOT regret buying. and they will last me quite some time.

hope you're all good xoxo

p.s. i'm dying to get chanel matt lumiere foundation :( maybe someday.......

spoiling myself rotten

i had a file check today so i was at uni and not school (yay for another 3 day week!!) but it's so hard getting back into the swing of things (is working)., i;ve become so lazy with all this free time..ever since we went on easter break it feels like it's been constantly holidays. now it's all coming to an end..

after my (successful) file check, i had to take a ride to west brompton to get a prescription. i found out from the very kind and chatty receptionist that there are now squatters in the pub ;) how nice! i made my way to kensington and stopped over at a starbucks...and i had a rall mocha frappucino WITH cream! wow, it's so delicious! i'm terrible..i should really stay away from starbucks, i mean, i shouldn't even be drinking coffee. which is why, as of tomorrow, i will drink water instead of coffee. i will allow myself to have one coffee a day at school but other than that, i'm saying "NO" to coffee.

i spent just over £13 on two books that i can read to my kids at year 1. insane. i originally picked up three but when i got to the counter and the lady said £22..i literally told her "i'm sorry, i can't do that, i have to put one away..". i had also asked her if they do student discounts, to which i got a negative reply, so i HAD to let go of one book. it's so annoying. things are so expensive here and i'm not getting any money into my account! it would be nice to have a job. i miss having 'pay day'.

i should be sleeping by now as i have an early start tomorrow... but i'm not feeling so great. lewis would laugh and say 'when are you well?!' it's true, my health has been dramatically declining over the past year, ever time i've been to his, i've ALWAYS been ill. i was considering buying seven seas cod liver oil today - i absolutely HATE the stuff but i know it would be good for me...i just couldn't yet make myself get it.. i'm not ready! but i need to start doing something, i can't be constantly ill.. it's no fun, and the school won't find it fun either if i start being ill all the time, no school will like it... as of tomorrow, i need to start taking some sort of supplements. i need to get better, i need to be healthy.

hope everyone is well..
xoxo

loooooooooooong weekend...

as everyone on the planet knows, friday in the uk was a day off (thanks to will and kate! - thanking you!). what a wonderful day it was..i spent it watching the coverage on my laptop from 9am. everything was so beautiful. what a wonderful dress had on, i just loved it. absolutely stunning. will looked rather handsome too if i may say so myself! so i spent the day literally 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over kate and will's wedding. what a fairytale.

i want to be a princess too!!

i did manage to go shopping on friday too. i had to. unfortunately. i have no appropriate clothes for the school i'm at now, so called 'smart casual' but more on the smart side, so it's totally smart. so off to h&m i went. i'm lacking in the money department hence h&m and not zara or topshop :( on saturday i went to high street ken, to further my shopping experience at h&m. i wondered around the streets and reminisced about the past. helped myself to a starbucks mocha frappucino and made my way back home.

today i intended on going to westminster abbey and enjoy the evensong mass they had at 3pm but when i got there, the 2 mile long queue to get inside made me turn back and head for camden instead! i browsed the shops of camden trying to find some inspiration for a bday present (it's lewis' 27th on sat..) but to no avail. still trying to figure out what to get him. i wonder if i'll be able to go to his on saturday at all what with all the work i have for school...

tomorrow, again, it's a day off 'bank holiday monday' and i have no idea what to do with myself! i might head out to town again and go to a park and drink some pimms? no one seems to be willing to go with me which is a shame but i guess everyone else is busy. so i'll go on my own.

xoxo

absolute NOM.

what more can i say but ryan gosling.
ever since i saw him in the notebook i went mad and got hold of all the films he played in. and now i came across his new film: crazy stupid love. so without further ado..have a look at this!

absolute beauty. love it. love him! L has something about him that reminds me of ryan gosling - woop woop!! lucky me!

a treat!

yesterday i treated myself to my se1 school! it was so joyous going back to all the kiddies - they really did miss me! i had kids at my feet and pulling me in all directions to show me what they've been up to. it was so lovely to see them - i have missed them. two little girls even made me a card each ;) it's so nice to know that you mean something to kids. i even got asked by a little girl "can i be your bridesmaid"which made me smile - how thoughtful! :D i just love working with little people. i think reception is my fav class to teach and be around with. i shall go and visit them more often!

today i had a day off, however, i didn't do much only because i was stressed out with finding out that i will be ofsted'ed during se2..and i had to get my se1 file in by friday :/ i have to do so much to get it ready - i'd taken it apart really, for my essays and simply because i wasn't pleased with the last week i'd taught - oops....

later on in the day, well at midday, i decided that my room needs to be rearranged so that if i do ever have a leak again, it won't go on my bed. it took me hours to shift my furniture and at 3 i gave up - i just had too much furniture in my room and i couldn't turn my bed around to where i really wanted it. so i waited till my flatmate got back home and we lifted the couch up and out of the way :) and now my room is ready... (check later to see a pic of my room!)

that's all for now...uni all day tomorrow and friday..and then it's all over. no more uni, just school...how scary!!

xoxo

i've fallen into the oblivion of american series..

i watched 22 episodes of pretty little liars in 4 days.
i'm always on track with the new glee episodes.
i've always watched desperate housewives, brothers and sisters, gossip girl, family guy... i mean - do i REALLY need to watch all these programs?? no. but i'm bloody enjoying it!! haha.

i had a lovely weekend.. went out on sunday to leicester square and made my way to shaftesbury avenue and chinatown, where i had a scrumptious dinner! new world is a restaurant i will recommend to everyone who is in town. it was a bit weird, i must admit, sitting on my own and having dinner ON MY OWN with tables full of families and couples all around! it was fun though! ordered way too much for myself.. came out looking pregnant ;)

again, today i experienced a leak from the ceiling. i came back home for my lunch break aaand sat down on my bed and felt it was a 'bit' wet. i hit the phone and called my landlord who didn't reply till 9pm. he arranged the plumber to come round tomorrow and 'sort it out'. i'm so pissed off you have NO idea. i'm going to Citizen's Advice Bureau on wednesday so i might get some help with my room and my rights.

wish me luck!

xoxo

rags to riches

i'm really looking forward to finishing my course in july..i'm also getting a bit worried about having to move to MrL's...for good! no going back ;) no more return tickets to london...just his place and we've got to make it work!
i'm worried about it all..i'm scared of getting on his nerves too much and he'll get angry with me, you know what it's like when you're with someone but you can always 'go back to yours'..i will no longer have that option. i'm over the moon to think that i will be with L all the time and be with him whilst working and waiting for him with dinner ;) but i'm just a little worried (in the back of my mind) that we will find it hard to 'get used to each other'... but most of all, i'm so excited and joyous that i will BE with L. yay!!!

plus i'm worried about my job and whether i'll find one by september :/

on a happy note - i bought some shoes, et voila!

and this...

(it's just a headband ;))

got a LOVELY maxi dress from boohoo.com, unfortunately it's no longer available on the website so i can't get a pic on here but not to worry, i'm sure you'll see a pic of me IN it sooner rather than later!

i really would like to get carolina herrera 212 vip eau de parfum :) might get it...but still not sure...would also like prada original eau de parfum.... i'd love loads of perfumes to be honest!!

xoxo

waiting for easter to come

so i flew out to poland for the weekend and it was lovely!
i got to see my parents and spent time at home - i loved it.
now i'm back and my flattie is still ill and sowing his germs around the house, to which point i have managed to catch it. i went to uni in the morning but after coming back home for lunch i crawled into bed, wrapped myself in my blanket, lemsip in hand, aspirin on the go and tissues on roll. sneezing and coughing has commenced.

i've been trying to get my statement done for schools to go with my CV.. it's not so easy. it's taking me ages to come up with something that is good enough.

on the other hand, i'm totally loving the feeling of not having to write any essays! it feels so weird having so much time on my hands..i actually have time to be in bed and get better! wow...

hope you're all well
xoxo

so maybe that 'flooding' dream was a sign?

my mum was taken to hospital and she had her operation today and it's all fine. my mum is well and she'll be going home tomorrow!! i'm so so happy! and i cannot wait to see them on friday! so glad to hear everything's ok.

i've also rediscovered my old love for ivri lider (a most talented and handsome looking israeli singer-songwriter) it's a shame itunes doesn't have all of his songs :/

on a bad note: what is wrong with some sales-assistants?? i went up to a clinique counter and the stupid (16-18 year old) assistant just TOTALLY blanked me. she went round to the other side and was 'talking business' with an older sales-assistant. so i stood there STARING at them for a good 3 minutes, after which i got pissed off and moved on. a sales-assistant from the clarins counter saw me and the whole situation and she approached me (lovely lady- thank you) and asked me what i was looking for. i told her i wanted to ask about the eye-cream from clinique, to which seh responded that she could go and check for me (bless her - it's totally not her counter) and i just told her that it's the other woman's responsibility and if she can't be bothered that it's their problem.

some people just should not be sales-assistants, not when they have an 'i-can't-be-bothered-to=acknowledge-customers' kind of attitude. boo to you. i shall not be returning to that counter ever again. you're doing yourself such bad publicity and i'm sure there are many women like me who do the same - you just don't go back to places that treated you like crap. full stop. the end.

i've just purchased my ivri lider - off i go to full on sing-along mode :)!! (glad the flat's empty and no-one will hear my awful howling, i mean 'singing' ;))

xoxo

sleepless nights

so i've been having problems with sleeping..
i can't seem to fall asleep at a 'normal' hour.
i've been going to bed between eleven and midnight, and haven't fallen asleep till three, four-ish.
terrible.
and, i had a really weird dream last night about a flood that i kept clearing but it kept coming back..so i looked it up and came across definitions, such as:
"to dream about a gentle flood suggests that your concerns about a particular situation will soon be washed away"
could it really be about my mum? well..i'm not sure whether to believe it or not..? maybe..??

have so much work again this weekend for ICT..was sat at uni today till 7:30pm doing a powerpoint presentation about bees. fun fun fun. just maths tomorrow and the afternoon off so i'll be off to boots to get me some no7 stuff..

xoxo

happy days again :)

i'm coming home next weekend - absolutely thrilled to bits, it has however been triggered by my mother's illness.. she's due to have an operation this week if they have any free spaces. i want to be there for my dad and to make sure my mum's feeling better.

still a bit tied up with uni (ICT presentation for wednesday next week) and essay due in for the friday after that. but then that's my last essay ever (well, unless i fail sth then i'll have to resubmit ;) hopefully that won't happen)

so excited to go home. can't wait to see mum and dad.

xoxo

happiness

firstly, i'm SO happy for getting my maths essay (and all the 'little' bits that went with it) ids done and dusted - handed in and forgotten about! this now means that i now have only one more essay left to write - ICT...and it's for next friday, so soon, all these silly essays will be DONE.

secondly, i've been so motivated by alexis jordan and her song 'happiness' :) since the first time i heard it, it makes me hum along, dance and want to be happy (corny but true). the beat of the song is so invigorating and the general vibe i get from the song is - summer!

alas, i am about to state something that will be a complete contradiction to what my previous post was about - namely, i will be heading to primark (hangs head in shame) i know, i know..i said i would never shop there and i think people who do are silly..BUT i've been looking for a maxi dress since last summer and i cannot find one that is within my price range (i've seen some truly beautiful ones for astronomical prices going into the hundreds..) and one youtuber whom i happened to watch today bought a really pretty, very plain and straightforward maxi dress from the dreaded primarni. so, i will take a shot and go there tomorrow and see if this maxi dress is worth the eleven pound price tag ;)

white will be on my wish list.. very summery..

aside from my essay writing and mini shopping sprees.. i'm falling ill. just a little cold. but my nose is killing me, my body feels rather flimsy and i've been living on lemsip all day, don't have an appetite at all today. and it's all because of marcin and his bloody man-flu. ugh.

good night boys and girls xoxo

fake trash

just a thought that passed my mind while i was on the tube today, going to yet another very mini shopping spree ...

this watch is the fruit of my 'labour'.

anyway, back to the point of my post - fake trash. sometimes, i look at people, and i see fakery all over. fake, cheap and tacky. i know, that it's pricey to get good stuff..but once you do, you have decent, long-lasting things that look good. i used to buy stuff from primark, but i got fed up of having to throw everything away after having worn it once. useless. waste of money, even if it did cost £4. i live on a budget myself and believe you me, i know how hard it is, yet i always manage to get good things once in a while. it feels great to know that i've bought myself three tops that will last me the whole spring and possibly summer (if it's not too hot, which, living in england it won't be ;)).

i'm happy, happy that i'm not wasting my money. i look at some girls and think - that ring/skirt/top/shoes you're wearing will last you only a few weeks. i'll still be wearing my things come the end of summer - it feels good to know that!

all in all, it feels great to shop, doesn't it?

xoxo

back in london (and back to the shops did i go!!)

I had been SO so good in feb and i didn't buy anything for myself (apart from food obviously). sooo as soon as i got back to london, my desire to go to the shops grew stronger by the minute, and so, today, off i went.

i hit zara first - two tops bought, both white - perfect for spring!

then h&m - another white top, a bit like a jumper only with short sleeves

and that was it! enough to satisfy my minor shopping need - DONE.

i've been on a battle front with my landlord - i had a leaking ceiling before i left up north (beg. of feb) and he 'fixed it' and when i got back on sunday last week my bed was SOAKING. so i called him and he didn't answer my calls - he called me the following day at 4pm saying 'oh, that DOES sound urgent'. hm..he got a plumber in for wendesday - very urgent indeed. so i wrote to my landlord (Jaz) that i will not pay him rent for this month until he completely resolves this situation which has been going on for a month, let alone he promised to paint my walls etc - it ain't gonna happen. so he's not getting his rent until he fixes upstairs' bathroom and makes it watertight so i don't have to worry about being bruatlly woken up in the night with water dripping on my face!

ugh. hate.

i'm trying to get some maths done and write my essay for monday - it will be a challenge, possibly the biggest i've had here at uni. really unsure about it :/ 4 days left to write it - i should manage.

mummy's in hospital and i'm praying she gets better and goes home soon.. maybe tomorrow..? they're not sure what was wrong - they're still doing tests on her, poor thing. wish i was there to help, i feel so useless being here and not being able to give my dad a hand :(

apart from that, i guess things are ok.

wish i could go home to poland right now...

xoxo

school again tomorrow...

but no ordinary school - i'm going to nursery (3-4 year olds!! yikes!!) in stockton. yes, i got my placement up north and i'm staying with L. however, L is currently away and will be back on friday (oh my lord - i cannot WAIT, it's so weird being here without him)

so i start school tomorrow...with...babies really... :/ nursery scares me. maybe i will change my mind or gradually i will like the age range to teach, however, as of today, i'm kinda scared and not sure what to expect..will keep you posted.

been very good and gave back my aldo shoes *cries* i LOVED them :( over the knee boots i've never had.. should have bought a size bigger but who knew aldo was sporting such small sizes? boo. i got some black jeans from uniqlo though :) excited!

so it's february and you all know what special day is coming up :)? yes, that's right - Valentines day. now, i've never been the one to celebrate V day but with L things have certainly changed. i was reluctant to do ANYTHING for v day..i've just always had such crappy boyfriends that i saw no reason in 'spoiling' (or even 'treating' them) to anything! i was always the one running around, buying, buying buying and making things nice. and i guess no one ever bothered to really treat me during v day...so the whole romance was gone and never existed. so sad, but so very true. and now, i'm with someone who really wants me, a man who really loves me for who i am. HE treats ME. and boy am i one happy little girl. so this year, we are going out - to a lovely little pub in a beautiful village (which maybe, who knows, maybe one day, we'll end up living there..) where we'll enjoy a gorgeous meal. i even know what i'm getting L for v day - yes, i am getting him a present (or two!) i just can't believe i left my dress in london :( i want to cryyy!! ugh.

xoxo

on antibiotics

i've got an infection, hopefully i'll get rid of it soon enough, i'm on antibiotics so GO AWAY you stupid infection!!!!

i'm pretty much super duper excited about tomorrow - i'm leaaaavin' on a .. train. and i sure as heck know i'll be back again!

more purchases:
- aldo shoes (boots, over the knee type - need to try on size 7 for good measure tomorrow, so trip to covent garden again)
- clinique high impact mascara (my l'oreal million lashes is brilliant HOWEVER after being told by my science teacher that l'oreal workers have to wear special protective clothing when working with waterproof mascara from l'oreal, i've decided that i'm not going to get that crap again!)
- topshop tops (gorgeous scallop neck tops that are so summery - i love it!)

see...i've been good :)!

uni...hm...still two essays to go...haven't done too well with those ;)

can't wait till tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo

yay (part trois)?!

yes, can you believe it....!! another batch of great news - i passed my professional studies assignment - phew!! i'd blissfully forgotten all about it actually..and yesterday we were told that we'd get our results today.

i must admit, getting (or rather waiting) for the results are incredibly stressful - i just have absolutely no idea whether i passed or failed...there is just no knowing.. :/

but i'm glad i passed. very glad indeed.

now..because of this wonderful news, i was meant to go out and exchange my jacket from zara. however, it was so cold today that once i got home - i stayed in! there was noo way i was going to head back outside...it was freezing in my room so i hopped straight onto my bed and covered myself with my lovely blanket and switched on my laptop and wasted away the evening. nice.

tomorrow i'm heading off to zara ;) in the morning. i'm considering giving the jacket back and getting a refund? i'm not sure, i'll see how the change of size goes. will pop in to a shoe maker and get my shoes re-heeled - i keep slipping, they are so bloody dangerous! and i'll head off to cambridge at 3pm. do not fear - i will be back sunday morning (after a bit of /window/ shopping at westfield ;))

have a lovely weekend all
xoxo

YAY (part deux)

so i retook my ICT skills test today and.... i passed!! hurrah!! so that's two down, one to go (the worst lies ahead of me though - maths...)

earlier this morning, i received a text from zara saying that my package is ready to be collected from the shop in covent garden (just a two minute walk from holborn - where the test centre was) so i happily went and got it.

i came home and unpacked it and...i'm not entirely happy with it :/ it's like it's a bit too small on me...i'm planning on going to zara tomorrow and changing it for a bigger size (L!!) or giving it back all together ;/

got a 'bright' top from h&m (a very orange, rusty, earthy colour) in size 14 so it's rather slouchy :D but nice. i like. it's the only really colourful item of clothing i have...wow. shall be flaunting it tomorrow at uni.

cannot wait till april when i will be (hopefully, fingers crossed) in poland! just waiting for confirmation from L's work to accept his holiday form. it's been too long since i was home.

i need to get on with my essays this weekend. i have planned to go to cambridge to see anna sing in her choir - they are giving a show in a church, should be impressive :) i will be back on sunday and next week i have the whole of wednesday off so i can catch up on some essay writing..i have two essays due in for 25th feb while i'm out of london so i'm going to try to write and hand them in on the friday..! yay...

i miss L and i've been totally deserted by 'friends' but for ania.
so, to whoever is reading this, thanks for stopping by and reading

xoxo

literacy skills test - PASS

woot woot! i passed my literacy skills test...only ICT and maths to go... thursday i have ICT and maths - hm...maybe in march? i'm so not prepared for it...

however..

because i succeeded in my test, i treated myself to a bit of oxford street lavishness... yes, i went to new look and got a pair of tights ;) haha.

(i do have a jacket, jeans and a scarf making its way to me via the wonderful post :p)

oops - naughty me! i said i wouldn't go shopping, but i just couldn't resist after such nice news!! i must admit i will be spending more on a bag that i've cast my eyes on in aldo..... maybe thursday when i pass my ICT :D?#

xoxo

another week over..

the weekend whizzed past like speedy gonzales.
more work done, but still a lot lies ahead..

i have my ict skills test tomorrow at 17:15 so fingers crossed!

on a brighter note - i purchased a lovely (faux) leather jacket from zara- i promise this is my last purchase from zara for a long long time!! :)

another week of uni ahead.. hopefully i'll get more work done during the week..

i cannot contain myself, i really cannot wait for february and my additional school experience! all the way up in stockton - yay!

L and I have also come to the conclusion that we will go to PL twice this year - april (for easter) and december (for chrimbo). i 'might' go in august too for a few days as it's my gran's 90th(!!) wow, i'm glad we've finally settled on some dates :D i can't wait! i miss home.

xoxo

a tad bit beauty obsessed at the mo...

it may not be so obvious to you all (particularly through this blog) that i am LOVING a multitude of beauty products and also a new obsession of mine are clothes and handbags..

i don't like to talk about it at al, as this blog is supposed to be about 'my life' and what is going on. however, recently i haven't been blogging AT ALL. oops.

i'm a student. i don't have a lot of money and i have been complaining that i don't have money to get a ticket to poland etc.. and so i feel really bad every time i get myself a new top/blouse/trousers/bag/cosmetics/bag/jewelery... :(

but i must admit, recently i've been obsessed.

i've been buying way too many clothes, my wardrobe is slightly overflowing! that's never happened before.
now, i did make a promise to myself that this year i will buy only good quality clothes (i.e. no more primark, no more tacky clothes that fall apart after being worn once). so i'v been buying waaay too much in the zara/topshop sale (and not-so-sale!) tragedy. luckily, i've come to a stop - i have satisfied my clothes shopping desire (hopefully!)

i've bought so many cosmetics - especially from clinique, bare minerals, urban decay (i've yet to get mac and nars ;)) and i've also gotten into painting my nails (something completely new to me). i've been going mad!! barry m, essie, gosh, rimmel, sally hansen (for strengthening), maybelline.. i'm all onto you!

anyway - enough of this babble.

life at uni is stressful. a lot of work to do, many essays to research and write.
february will be spent up north with L and at school doing my additional experience in nursery and year 1. should be fun. especially that L will be away for 2 weeks while i'm there :/

susan (my flattie) has got herself a leading role in an irish series (anf will be on tv in ireland) SOOO so happy for her :)

trying to sort out my holidays to poland - decision: should i go for easter and chrimbo OR summer hols and chrimbo?? need to check out tickets too..that's the worst part.

that's all folks! hope you're all well...
xoxo

another year over...

and what a year it has been...

jan - was in poland for dad's 70th
feb - had a lovely valentine's day for the first time in my life
march - bunked off school to go with L to his 'work do'
april - erm, nothing?
may - bday present in use at the track, which resulted in L's car to break down
june - last month of being an LSA
july/august - at L's, the best time ever
sept - started uni
oct - busy at uni
nov - amazing bday with L up north
dec - another wonderful chrimbo with the Holding's and an ever better new years in the cottage

all done and gone..it's amazing how fast a year flies now.. when i was younger, time used to go so slowly..things have certainly sped up since then!

2011.. i wonder what you will bring me..
hopefully i will successfully finish this pgce course

i have made some new years resolutions:
- buy clothes only at zara/topshop
- stop buying crappy stuff that is not quality
- same goes for makeup and skincare products
- keep on top of things (ie don't leave it till the last minute)

how are you all doing in this new year? any resolutions/plans? hope you're all well!

muchos love xxx

a *bit* behind...

well, centuries ago..

i moved house. i moved into a fresh new flat with two brand new housemates. they are fantastic. i could not have got better flatmates. it's great.

my room is not-so-great. i've tried to make it 'my own' by buying a few bits and bobs to make it look 'homely'. have i succeeded? you'd have to see it to judge yourself.

my first placement is abruptly coming to an end!! shock! it seems like it was just a few days ago that i started! what joy these last 5 weeks have been with my reception children (4-5 year olds) they have been such sweeties to teach. my teacher has been great although she hasn't made it easy for me, neither has she given me enough carpet time experience but i have thoroughly enjoyed every second of this placement! it's been a pleasure and i don't really want to go... i wish i could come back to reception in march/june.. yet i know that won't happen - i have to go to year1/year2.

i have managed to get my ASE in feb up in stockton - SCORE! a whole month with my man - how exciting :D

i cannot wait till friday...i will finally see Mr L. it has been much too long.. and christmas is nigh - wow, where has the time gone?! i still need to buy a few presents..

i wish i could go home for christmas... it would have been so lovely especially that anna is going and it's at my brother's so the whole family would have been together.. i will miss them all this year..i really was hoping that i would go this year... :( i miss my family.

roll on last week of school and my last observation and then friday...!!

xoxo

cheer up, everything will be ok...

i hate being stressed.
i hate writing essays.
i hate not having options.

this is the beauty of london - rely only on yourself, friends say they will 'help' but they never really do.

super stressed.
worried about everything.

'don't let yourself get pushed around'

i just want to do this damn course - why do i always have to have huge obstacles along the way?

argh!

i KNEW i'd forgotten something - my borrowed maths cd from the bloody library! and L's away till friday so i'll have a huge fine to pay!! grrr.

as for london, well, it greeted me with drizzle, slippery surfaces and a miserable empty room. that's a typical hello from london.

last week of proper uni and then 6 weeks of SE1! *cries* am i ready?!

not to mention i still need to write one whole essay...and finish off my other one, all for friday..

oh, and of course look for a new room.

THIS WEEK IS GOING TO BE SOOO MUCH FUN. not.

early birthday

friday night came upon us, and i thought our plans hadn't changed - go to L's uncle in osmotherly. L came home and announced that maybe we should go out for a meal and just hang out and have an early bday (seeing that we won't be together till xmas)..it sounded good to me! luckily, i thought ahead and i had done my hair up in lovely curls (which, no doubt, fell apart as the night lingered) put on my lil black dress and even changed my mahoo-sive h&m everyday bag, for my little black clutch :) how good am i?!

we set off at 6 pm.
my looooooord did we venture out into the wilderness and darkness of the night!

L drove us around and far out. we were driving through the prettiest towns, looking for a good restaurant - one that would be good enough for such a pompous occasion ;) by the time it got to 7pm i was feeling a little bit hungry. i was beginning to get onto L's back for taking me out for such a long drive and thinking he was doing it on purpose, driving for so long just to make me more hungry. but then, i kinda got a tiny bit suspicious when we drove past 'the dog' a second time.. now, L has a tendency to be very picky and will not stop or turn around, he will keep going till he gets to where he wants. so yes, we'd done a HUGE loop. i was laughing it off and listening to L's excuses.

and then we drove up to a lovely drive..and a few seconds later - there it was - a beautiful hall that looked like a small castle from the outside. i was in awe but knew this was going to be an expensive night.

the time of arrival was 7:45pm.
we went up to the restaurant area and were told that there are no available tables till 9:30pm. so we waited :)

a murphy's and a baileys later, we were in! our meals were served up really quickly and were delicious. i had some more baileys and, having drank so much on an empty stomach, was feeling pretty dizzy. it was home time by 10:30pm.

L was told by the receptionist that the quickest way to the car park was by going up to the second floor and going straight down the corridor and we'll get to a set of doors that lead to the outside. so off we went. and we walked down the corridors and i was searching for doors leading out when lo and behold, we were unfortunately approaching just some more hotel rooms..and then L said that he got a card from the reception .. and swiped it on the door and it opened... no, not to the car park ;) but to our very own room! i couldn't stop laughing at my gullibility and the fact that i had such a wonderful man do this for me.

in the room we were greeted by a glorious bottle of champagne and chocolates and a rather inviting humongous super-duper king sized bed!

i had such a wonderful birthday!

we had a late check out so we got home past 2pm.

oh, and L baked the most scrumptious bread in the afternoon, much inspired by antonio carluccio who was on saturday kitchen (yes, we watched it in bed this morning at the hotel, *snicker*) it was marvelous! with pancietta and cheese, yum!! could eat it every single day!

i love being home. with L.
i will miss him.
back to london tomorrow.
back to reality.
back to my room hunting and essays..

joy.

xoxo

p.s. wake me up when School Experience 1 ends...

not an easy life...

i'm 'enjoying' my half term week (which is actually a study week - i have two essays to hand in for next friday..) and i had an absolute BOMBshell thrown at me on monday...

i got a TEXT from my 'flattie' saying that the flat has been sold and we have to move out by 14th november. so the contract that i signed was a load of shit and i'm now looking for a place to stay..i spent monday and tuesday looking for rooms...with not much luck, so i'm trying to keep a clear mind and focus on my essays...i've done nearly all my literature one but i still have my maths to do which isn't easy :/

i just can't believe how fate has criss-crossed its paths with my luck..and turning it into BAD luck. instead of having time to focus on my essays i've had to waste time arguing with my 'flattie' i'm furious. i'm fuming. i'm beginning to hate london and all these false people that live in it. they only do things for their own profit, their own good.. i hate it. i'm beginning to see more and more of this behaviour in londoners, it's frightening.

i want to live here, up in the north. more than never have i felt this strongly to be here. not only because i miss L, but because of the life that one has here, it's so much calmer and peaceful. always something to do, always somewhere to go, someone to see, someone to cook for, someone to talk to..

so, as i try to write my eassay, and look for a place to live, i'm trying to actually really enjoy my last 3 days here with L. carving my pumpkin tonight! and tomorrow out to osmotherly and saturday we're celebrating my early birthday (we won't be able to be together for it so we thought we'd celebrate now) in fact i won't be seeing L till 17th december :( boohoo...

happy days to you all and fingers crossed for my essays and room-hunting...
xoxo

not feeling so well..

i was having a brilliant day, i was so happy the week was coming to an end.. especially after being so frustrated what with the whole placement mess up by uni.. and after uni today, i was meant to go out and have a drink with my old work mates from school.. but my belly made up its mind to have a go at me today and so i stayed at home. i watched the whole of gossip girl with a cuppa tea in hand and under my duvet. such good times, eh?

i bought my ticket for stockton - so excited. but won't get to see L till saturday as he's working nights during the week and my train gets into town at 9pm.

got lots of work this weekend, have to start on my english essay, would like to get it done and out of the way so i can concentrate on my maths essay (which i can;t get my head round :/) i just can;t wait to be with L and his family. we've also decided that we;ll celebrate my bday next week as we won't see each other in november.. in fact, i won't see L till december 20th.. this is such a dreadful year when it comes to how often we get to see each other.. but hopefully, it'll all be worth it.

hope you're all good xoxo

you know you love me...xoxo

i've found my website - one that shows gossip girl YAY!! sooo happy now, just watched 3 episodes of season 3 - sooo need to catch up, season 4 is already out here..only 19 more to go..

i got really soppy today, i miss L so much and i had to voice it to him. it's hard, so hard because there's nothing really that we can do.. :( one more week and i'll see him for a week, and then i'm back here for 7 weeks and then i'll see him for two weeks during xmas.. i can't believe we have to be apart for so long. i officially hate it.

on another note..i'm not doing too well financially. i'm trying to manage and i think i will but it's not easy..i need to get my maintenance grant or else i'm screwed. not looking good. i hate being a student. in london.

hope you're all well
xoxo

effects of alcohol can be terrible

in my case, it puts me to sleep, i slept most of the evening (from about 6 till 9) and now it's 4 and i'm going to bed with the hope of getting up at 9... drinking messed up my sleep cycle :(!! children - don't drink! unless you've nothing to do the next day...

xoxo

in love with

nigella lawson and her new show 'kitchen'
she really is one super sexy woman. who can cook!

she's got so many inspirational recipes it's amazing :) makes me want to cook.

if you haven't already - go have a look at my other blog www.mariatodayisaw.blogspot.com and you can see a snippet of what i see everyday ;)

this weekend looks like i'll be drenched and showered under by books, journals and more literature - so much work to do for my essays!! blaaaaaaaaaaa.

wish i could go shopping, or even more - wish i could go to the hairdressers. i've finally found my salon, my picture perfect salon (www.hobsalons.com) in camden (so close to home!) i wish to have a lovely fringe...a side swept one, for now :) ... i'll dream on then, shall i? heh.

sleep time now, hope everyone is good xoxo

surprise visit

Mr L called me on Sunday morning announcing that he'd come back from his training - YAY!! and he also said he was coming down to see me - double YAY :D

ok, so it would've been a wonderful two days - if it wasn't for his car. he broke down just a few roads down from me, so we had to get call for recovery which took hours to come, we later headed for a well deserved pizza and went to bed. next morning L got up bright and early and made so many phone calls to mechanics that would fix his car. he ended up spending a gigantic sum of money but luckily they did his car up by the end of the day! if it wasn;t for the tube strike it would've been easy to get to... we were late 10 mins.. but the man was kind enough to wait for us! how lucky were we!?

and so my man left this morning at 7am and managed to make it to the barracks on time.

i've now got a fridge full of healthy food, i had an amazing lunch (sponsored by L) and and empty bed :(

plus, a surplus of work to do for uni...

xoxo

lack of afflatus

i sit here and ponder on what i should write..

there have been a few things on my mind today, nothing that is vitally important to put out into the world, but i'll do it anyway..

1. i bought a "shelving unit" from ARGOS - note to self - never do that (or buy any other item from there) again.

2. i'm going to IKEA tomorrow with my flatmate to get me a proper shelving unit. it'll take us a min of 1hr to get there but it will be worth it..right?

3. Anna will be staying over for 5 nights starting tomorrow - i need to clean my room!! pronto!

4. i despise this rain that has befallen upon london - make it go away.

5. if i could change my whole wardrobe - I WOULD.

6. i wish the weekends were longer - i hardly ever get to do half the stuff i want to.

7. there's something wrong with the ventilation in my room - EVERY morning i wake up and the windows from the inside are covered with water droplets (i'm assuming this is condensation) meaning that there's too much water in the air.. make it go away! it's so annoying and my clothes never dry :/

8. i've started a new blog.. it's called "Today i saw..." :)

9. i need to watch my expenses - i'm running out of money (fast..)...

10. i need to find a website that streams gossip girl - man am i missing that show!! i have to catch up on all of season 3...!!

i thought i'd limit myself to 10, once i start listing i add and add and add ;) uni is getting quite scary - i mean, the prospect of being in school in a month is terrifying!! it's s different to what i was taught to do in PL.. wish me luck from 8th nov..

xoxo

i don't understand...

how (heavily) pregnant women smoke. i just don't get it...is carrying a child inside of you not a good enough reason to STOP smoking? not doing just for yourself but for the health of your unborn baby? it appalls me this selfishness and stupidity of some women. shame on you!

my week's flown by (yet again).. i have no idea where all this time is passing by?! i'm so busy with uni i tend to go to bed between 1 and 2am..i'm shattered. so tonight, i'm hopping into bed straight after this! the earliest i've ever been since i left L's!!

talking of Mr L.. i keep wondering where he is, what he's doing, if he's happy, if he's tired, if he misses me...
i can't wait till he gets back.
i also guess this is some kind of 'taster' for what it will be like when he leaves for Afghan.. which i am actually dreading. look at me now - i'm lucky he's gone for only a week..what will i do when he'll be gone for 6 months? i don't even want to think about it...

i want to go to poland. i miss my parents and my friends. i wish i could have had more time i went during the summer to see you... :(

xoxo

eat. pray. love.

yes, maria went to the cinema today.. how could i resist? two for one. you know me, always the opportunist (especially of it means getting away from vapid work for uni!) only if it is for and hour or two, it helps me clear my mind and refocus on life in general.

i saw a chick-flick, there's no other way of describing this film. even though it may not have been a really life changing film, it made me think about how i perceive myself and my life..i've never had a period in my lifetime when i 'got in touch with myself'. i'd (similarly to the main character) always been either breaking up or getting with someone, i'd never had that stage when you'd try and be happy with yourself.. i think i've missed that part out because it makes me feel uncomfortable. i'm marvelously happy in the relationship that i am now, although recently, well, a few days ago, we went through a heartbreakingly serious rough patch, that made me think how much do i love myself? do i love myself enough to love someone else? do you know what i mean?? i am so content with Mr L but i truly believe and think (and know) he needs more, and i'm not able to give it to him because i don't fully love me. i need to reach the level of loving me to be absolutely devoted to someone else. i will use my time wisely and i have devised a plan, an 'action plan' that from this day forward, i will start loving myself, my body and everything related to my being.

wow, all that from 'just a film'..it's great to go to the cinema from time to time - reflection is good :) i hope you are all happy with yourselves so that you can be the happiest with your loved ones.

xoxo

yesterday...

I write to you from my room.. YES, but no internet – I’m just writing this in word and posting it up on my blog. Oh, the good ol’ days of not having the internet – I HATE IT. Can’t wait till Tuesday!! Virgin internet here I wait…

So I’ve done a week of induction at uni (which was fab) if only it lasted forever…hey ho, I’ve also managed to survive a whole week of ‘proper’ uni – soooo much work. So much stuff to do, so many things to print, so much information to take in, so many essays to write, so many hours of researching to do, so many trips to the library to be done, so many subjects to acquire, so many notes to be taken down, so many presentations to be done, so many books to read, so little sleep – welcome to PGCE course. I have a hate/love relationship with it. I love it because I’ve met such wonderful people here; I look forward to my school experience and getting my QTS. But, I hate it because there’s so much work to do.. information overload every single day. We get tons of essays and projects to do..i’m kind of (not) looking forward to it..? I have mixed feelings about it all. I’m so glad to be on this course though. At times it will be fun but the majority of the time it’s work work work.

I’m living with a really nice girl in her flat. I have the whole bedroom to myself :) it’s a bit on the empty side, but soon enough, I shall make it my own! I just need to get a desk lamp, chest of drawers/storage cabinet and get some more pictures on the wall and it will be fab. The location is brilliant – 15mins walk to uni, not bad for London, the price is affordable (def for London) and my flatmate is really cool. We even went to the British museum on Saturday and had a blast in the Egyptian section! I’m so happy to be here, but I think, next year it’ll be time to go up north and start living there with Mr L :)

The weather here has been absolutely horrible the past few days – windy and rainy. Your typical English weather – what more could you ask for? I’ve had to buy myself boots (where else but from ‘new look’ they have 20% student’s discount – woohoo!) I’ve bought some lovely nail polish too – by BarryM the colour is called ‘mushroom’ and is a lovely shade of brown.. def a wonderful autumn nail colour. I’m pondering on getting h&m ‘oversized boyfriend shirts’. I adore the look of them, I even tried some on and was ferociously tempted to get them but I thought I’d wait a day or two to see if I still liked them as much as I did first time round.. we’ll see how it goes ;) besides I don’t want to be spending too much money seeing that I don’t really have any :/

Hope you’re all doing well, I can’t wait to have my internet and I’ll FINALLY be able to write every day :D
xoxo

sitting back and waiting

i viewed a room today, not far from uni, and i told the girl 'I WANT IT!!'..so it looks as if i might have just found my room!! thing is she still has a few people in for viewings today :/ so i have to wait and see...as per usual..

please please please..let me seal the deal.

i've had enough of people being so uncertain and flimsy in their decision-making.

I WANT THIS ROOM!

'the time traveller's wife'

on a more (what would seem) a happier note, i finished reading my ever-so-wonderful book! i couldn't put it down, it was one of those books that you just keeping reading and reading until, all of a sudden.. you've finished it!

what a brilliantly written book, the plot is immense and utterly gripping, the whole story is so tricky, so intricate and so full of love and passion..it seems like one of those things that you'd love to happen to yourself! i was captivated from the very start. i hadn't seen the film and my sister had bought the book for me as a present (thank you!). the ending is swift yet painful, truly gripping and heart-breakingly tragic with a hint of optimism. words cannot explain how this book made me feel. and yes, i did shed a tear or two or maybe even over a dozen when i got to the final pages.

what a wonderful read. i love literature that is so pure and emotionally thrilling.